Here is my story:

inthedark72 · Nov 17, 2014, 09:36 PM

I have been an athlete my entire life, and physical activity/competition has been engrained into my core. I am 21 years old. Three years ago, (the first two weeks going into my freshman year in college) I injured my triceps tendon where it connects at the elbow. It was a sudden onset, but physicians (and myself) seem to believe it was injured as a result of gradual wear and tear overtime.

Currently, I am barely able to do everyday things. (lifting more than 5 lbs is out of the question) At first, I craved recovery so I could return to the sports that I passionately loved, but as time went on and sports seasons passed, hope withered and now I just want to be able to do normal activities again. It would be an absolute dream come true to be able to lift weights and leisurely swim for cardio/physical activity, which I don’t think is too much to ask at all.

I have seen 7 orthopedic specialists and 5 physical therapists, each with their own theory and telling me I would be back to normal in 6 weeks/3 months/etc. I have been conservative with my arm in order to ensure a healthy and speedy recovery, but it has been the complete opposite. I have had a number of steroid injections, stem cell treatment, active release therapy, prolotherapy, PRP therapy, acupuncture, cupping… I think I’ve tried it all. I have also seen two sports psychologists, but that didn’t lead to anything either.

It’s much worse when one of my roommates still plays for the team and attends practice daily, and my other two roommates are physically active on a daily basis as well. I’ve sincerely tried running, biking, and other forms of activity, but after a few weeks the depression takes over and I discontinue. I obsess over this situation, and not an hour goes by without me being furious, sad, and helpless.

I’ve tried focusing on thinking that there are other people who have it worse, but when you’re on a college campus it is extremely difficult to have that mentality, especially when you think you know what your life was supposed to be like. I am hugely envious of everyone around me, ranging from 6 year olds or 80 year olds who can carry more weight than I without pain, to collegiate athletes where I once belonged.

My life went from physical activity every day for hours, to one day instantly changing and barely being able to brush my teeth or shampoo my hair without pain for 3 years and counting. I don’t even remember what things were like before, and the thought of the rest of my life being like this is horrifying. I start tearing up when I think about not being able to throw a ball to my future child or carry him/her in my arms. Everything I did was taken for granted: opening heavy doors, carrying groceries, throwing a ball, a simple pushup, etc. I’ve lost about 30 lbs of muscle and my mental health has taken a 180 degree turn… I have lost sight of who I am because this injury has taken over my life, and I don’t know what else to do.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I would really appreciate it if anyone has anything to say or things to share... anything at all!

inthedark72 · Nov 18, 2014, 01:31 AM

Edit: I have also had ultrasound therapy and underwent arthroscopic surgery on August 11th, 2014.

bluekoi · Nov 19, 2014, 08:44 PM

inthedark72, Hello and welcome to Psych Central! Hope your surgery went well and that you are able to be more active soon! Are you able to do exercises in the pool that do not involve your arm? How about vigorous walking or riding a stationary bike? Are you still able to continue your studies at college?

You might like to post a little about yourself in our New Member Introductions - Forums at Psych Central.

We are a friendly, supportive group with many resources for you to explore!

Best wishes on a speedy recovery!

bluekoi

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