[loavesnfishes]

My new favorite quote, "Change is a process, not an event." When I read this on a website, I was floored. It gives me hope. Two months ago, I overdosed twice within a three week period and ended on psych wards. Now, two months later, I am looking forward to life. I have struggled with depression most of my adult life. I am incorporating Bible reading into my new way of living. Don't get me wrong: life is not all joy for me, but I am accepting where I'm at...otherwise I cannot change.

[gayleggg]

That's great. Sounds like you have gotten yourself on track. I, too, was a depressed mess for the past three years but in September with a hospital stay and a major medication overhaul, I'm back on track too.

I hope you enjoy your time here. It's a great place to hang out.

[Crazy Hitch]

Hi loavesandfishes

Thank you for sharing your inspiring words with us.

May members find some comfort in what you have said.

Take care.

[Fuzzybear]

[Anxious Minds]

Change is inevitable. It happens whether we make a conscious decision to do it or not.

One of the biggest and most profound realizations that I had in my life was the moment that I stepped back from the world of personal development, self help, and personal growth and realized that the thing that was creating the most issues within me was this notion that who I am...today...is not good enough. I spent so much time thinking the personal growth was the cure, that it never occurred to me that it was actually the symptom. A symptom of a shattered ego, a poor reflection of self...a bright beacon flashing telling me one simple truth: that who and what I am...today...just isn't good enough.

Seeking to improve, this drive to change who we are, it creates this disconnect in our minds that the present version of ourselves is someone that we judge unfavorably. And we reinforce that notion by thinking that if we don't maintain that drive to change, then our actual circumstances will never improve. It's a delicious paradox of the highest order.

For example, at what I consider to be my worst point in life I was divorced, bankrupt, depressed and suicidal. If I were to flash back to that moment, how, in my right mind, could I ever suggest to myself that my desire to change was somehow unfounded? My life was in shambles, and I was completely miserable. Suggesting to me that I didn't have to change would have been one of the most ridiculous things you could have said to me.

But the irony is that that would have been one of the most powerful realizations I could have had. It was the discontent, that broken self-image, that causing all the chaos! My constant desire to be something other than what I was is precisely the catalyst that drive my life into self-destruction.

For me, the most powerful truth is that change is inevitable. As long as there is breath in your body, the world is going to shape and mold you and change you. The path that you take in that change is dictated by how you feel in this present moment. If you're feeling discontent and anxious, constantly seeing your flaws and imperfections, it's going to drive you to make choices and changes that won't ultimately solve the problem. You may improve your physical circumstances (and that is a worthy goal), but you won't be addressing the root issue: the feeling that if your life isn't a certain way, then you are somehow flawed and imperfect.

The solution, I have found, is boldly declaring "This is who I am!" and becoming more sure in the present moment that, despite my personal perceptions and judgments, who I am today is ENOUGH. Whatever I am right now is beyond perfection and that I do not NEED to change. The paradox is that when you realize that, the change will happen automatically and effortlessly. When you are at peace with who you are, your perception of the world will change you will begin to imagine your possibilities again.