[puzzclar]

I failed to move over around an emergency vehicle and got a written warning. I was already driving distracted.... this so does not help the situation, and I fear having to go back to the psych ward. I've been out a week. and still there's lots going on a new med that could be causing the issue or it could have been the topic of a paper. I just don't know....

[Idiot17]

((((((Puzzclar)))))))

[TheOriginalMe]

Maybe avoiding driving for a while might be a good idea. I know it is easier said than done. I'm supposed to notify the Licencing Authority about my depression, I haven't done that as I know they will revoke my licence for 6 months. I just avoid driving on the bad days a bit like I would never drive if I'd been drinking alcohol. Obviously, if I get in an accident or get pulled over by the police and they find out that I haven't notfied the authorities they'll revoke my licence and I'll get fined.

[puzzclar]

I was driving distracted anyway. Wanted to say hey not feeling well, shouldn't be driving but that would have given me a one way ticket to the psych ward. I was and still am feeling suicidal. It's calmed down a bit but still really depressed. Ended up crying a few times

[TheOriginalMe]

You've been putting yourself under a lot of pressure these past few days. Keeping busy is good but you need to give yourself time to heal just as you would if you'd had a physical trauma. Sui thoughts are horrible to deal with, intrusive and exhausting, do you have a support network if you feel you can't manage them on your own?

[puzzclar]

I did get a call from my mom and talked with her for a bit. I'm a bit calmer. Paper is done and I don't care what grade I get.

[smmath]

Are you seeing your therapist regularly?

[puzzclar]

Yep, and it's just not enough. I've been crying off and on for the last few hours. I'll talk with a few people tomorrow, I just wonder will it really help.

[TheOriginalMe]

Good for you getting the paper finished. That is an accomplishment to be proud off. You set yourself a target and worked through all the hazards, you didn't give up or give in, you won!

I don't know whether you are able to appreciate your victory right now, one day you will. I walked out of my finals because I got triggered by a question. 2 days later I sat the rest of my papers and got my honours despite failing the paper that triggered me. I felt deflated at the time but now I'm glad.

Well done Puzzclar.

[puzzclar]

Yes the paper is done, but I still have lots to catch up on, and no desire to. Feeling very low today

[winter4me]

Give yourself permission to not be "ok"---(easier said than done)---it might help to practice mindfulness techniques (breathing while focusing only on the task at hand, letting other thoughts drop aside as you go...) & taking things one step at a time, it can be so overwhelming that a traffic stop that might have been regretful but done and gone can become the domino that falls, seeming to bring all others down with it.
If needed, ?a day program/partial hosp.? Specific activities to engage in/organize your time...
((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))) hang in there. Sometimes small things bring the world crashing around me, other times not----at times I prefer a difficult, obvious problem to those that lurk in all the corners...

[puzzclar]

I finally told someone, suggested hospitalization but I said no. I can't go back. Too much to do. I am around people and I intend to not be alone for the next few hours to just get through the day.

[puzzclar]

Last few hours have been physical tough. Now I just want sleep

[Idiot17]

[Little Jay]

[puzzclar]

Vertigo so not fun but I had people help drive me to appointments and help when I got dizzy. I just have to remember to take it slow. And t will keep a close eye on me. I do feel cared for and loved. Which is important after a rough week.