[callmeocd]

I'm writing because my husband is depressed and he has been for a long time. I didn't realize it was real until i went to couples therapy for another issue when the therapist brought up that he should go see his family doctor and get something prescribed because she believes he has depression.

My husband is someone who is always giving just like how his mother was. He is fearful that he is going to turn out to be like her. She is super depressed, resentful has no friends or family support she has turned into a bitter and hateful old lady. My husband is starting to become bitter he has no real friends he gives and gives and gives with no return. His theory is that there are givers and takers in the world and the takers achieve happiness and the givers don't. His mom divorced and remarried and is miserable.

How do i get my husband out of this rut? He also refuses to see a doctor because it's like admitting he is mentally ill and he wont do that.

[Curupira]

Depression is rough all around. My husband had to go to the doctor with me. When you are in a depressive state it is hard to see anything outside of your own warped perspective.

[poorguy]

Hello nice to meet you callmeocd!

I do hope that you and your husband both well!!

His theory is that there are givers and takers in the world and the takers achieve happiness and the givers don't. << Well...I think givers are happy too! (provide that the giver not asking for return!) Just think of when you're preparing some present to your friends, you feel happy yourself too..isn't it?

Just tell your husband..everyone has their own destiny and their own value in life!

[Fuzzybear]

[gayleggg]

Hopefully, your husband will get the help he needs to manage his depression. There are so many things he can do to live better than his mother. What I like my husband to know when I'm depressed is that:
1. pushing me doesn't work
2. counseling is very important
3. taking needed medication is sometimes absolutely neccessary
4. keeping in a routine is very important, I don't do well with spur of the moment stuff
5. I need help with keeping my life organized and calm
6. a hug is better than any words can be
7. patience is a virtue
8. let me have space when I need to be a lone

I'm sure there are plenty more but these are the most important to me. Your being here looking for help is a very supportive thing to do. It shows you are really interested in finding answers. I wish my husband would do more research, because I think it would help us both.

Good luck to both of you.