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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2008
Location: PsychCentral
Posts: 1,185
16 8,255 hugs
given |
#1
If the number 13 prevents anyone from wanting to post, we can skip the number for this round.
Feeling pretty good. A friend did me a huge favour, which helped my anxiety immensely, and someone I know gave me hope that I'll get better. And my lost keys were found! I'm thankful. So very thankful. |
avlady, boomerango, hope2010, mulan, TheOriginalMe, tigerlily84
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angelene, Clara22, favoritefountain2, hope2010, Rose76, TeriNK, tigerlily84, Turtlesoup
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Member
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Dallas
Posts: 54
9 212 hugs
given |
#2
Annoyed actually. I feel like for every day of progress I'm making at work, we're losing that progress due to stupidity and lack of vision on the part of management. Its frustrating, because in general work has been going well but meetings today have been a disaster of "well what we really meant was"
So now I'm thinking about looking for a new job again - mostly because I can't bang my head against a desk much longer without inflicting long term damage to my frontal lobe. Ugh. Home front is doing better, so I'm grateful for that. I need that front to quiet down while I deal with work. |
angelene, Anonymous37914, avlady, Bark, Clara22, TheOriginalMe, tigerlily84, Turtlesoup
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Guest
Posts: n/a
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#3
Quote:
what job do you do. anything exciting |
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TheOriginalMe
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Poohbah
Member Since Jul 2007
Location: Indiana, USA
Posts: 1,256
17 600 hugs
given |
#4
Feel like I don't belong anywhere. I'm falling into a darkness. My cancer diagnosis is starting to process. I won't lose myself to this. I refuse to. But how do you process without going into that darkness a little?
__________________ PTSD possible bipolar Meds: propranalol 20mg 2x's(blood pressure), lamictal 300mg, seroquel 100mg, effexor 75mg, sprycel 100mg (CML, chronic myeloid leukemia), iron supplement, multivitamin |
angelene, Anonymous37914, Bark, boomerango, Clara22, favoritefountain2, hope2010, Justicia, Leavethelighton, Marla500, Riana_R, Rose76, Ruftin, soft_silhouette89, Sunflower123, TerryL, TheOriginalMe, tigerlily84, Turtlesoup
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,634
(SuperPoster!)
13 5,469 hugs
given |
#5
Still trying to shake a cold. But feeling reasonable alright.
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angelene, Anonymous37914, Bark, Clara22, favoritefountain2, TheOriginalMe
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Bark, hope2010, Turtlesoup
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Member
Member Since Nov 2014
Location: Dallas
Posts: 54
9 212 hugs
given |
#6
I'm a consultant. I work for a tech company, but I'm primarily a statistician and I also handle some of our development (R, C#, MySQL, PostgreSQL) and system administration. I spend most of my time correcting misconceptions about data analysis and statistics, or dealing with our client who thinks Excel is the end all and be all of analytical environments. Which makes me cry.
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angelene, Anonymous37914, Clara22, hope2010, TheOriginalMe
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#7
I am not doing so well. Better, physically, after eating a dinner of eggrolls and water (it's better than it sounds). But feelings-wise... can't say the same. It's after 5:30 and rapidly growing dark outside. It was cloudy again today - only saw the sun, very faintly, for about five minutes, before it disappeared and never re-emerged. I get depressed anyway, but I do think part of it is seasonal, as I get worse in the winter and when the sun's not out. I hope I can get through tonight without my mood dipping any further.
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angelene, Anonymous200325, Bark, Clara22, hope2010, Sirensong18, Sunflower123, TheOriginalMe, tigerlily84, Turtlesoup
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Out of Order
Member Since Feb 2014
Location: England
Posts: 15,855
(SuperPoster!)
10 17.5k hugs
given |
#8
Very grey and very windy today. I managed a longish walk that did help me a little, but I'm still in the same old rut and feel very little other than fear and sadness. Occasionally I forget the present, the past and the future and exist in my own space, when that happens I get as close to content as I will ever be.
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angelene, Anonymous37914, Bark, Clara22, hope2010, Sunflower123, TaintedLove, Turtlesoup
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Veteran Member
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: US
Posts: 698
10 1,753 hugs
given |
#9
I know it's only 8:25PM but I just want to go to sleep...
__________________ * Panic Disorder w/ Agoraphobia * Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder * Hoarder * Fibromyalgia * Major Depressive Disorder w/ Recurrent Major Depressive Episodes ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "I exist here. I must learn to walk in this world." |
Anonymous37914, Bark, Clara22, Turtlesoup
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Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2012
Location: Over there
Posts: 1,320
12 3,546 hugs
given |
#10
After getting into the argument with my mother about where I will spend Christmas, I received another phone call from my brother, who proceeded to yell at me because of something I said a week ago. And when I say yell I mean relentlessly scream. Well it was more than I could take, and I spent the rest of the day crying and in bed. I was in the wrong, yes, but I didn't deserve that. He made me think that we were okay this whole time, when he really was angry with me. I absolutely hate it when people are fake. Why? For what purpose? What is the point of joking around with me if you are pissed off?
He ended the conversation we had a week ago by telling the same corny joke he always does. I did apologize that very day, and he seemed to accept it, so I figured that we were okay. I texted and called him the following day to talk, but he never replied. So imagine my surprise when he called yesterday out of the blue. And guess what, after screaming at me, he texted me and told the same stupid joke. I feel like I am going crazy. Who does that? The worst part is that I have to see him on Christmas Day. I am sick of this. Last edited by tigerlily84; Dec 22, 2014 at 10:33 PM.. |
angelene, Bark, Clara22, hope2010, SeekerOfLife, soft_silhouette89, TheOriginalMe, Turtlesoup
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2013
Location: RJAA!
Posts: 1,006
11 1,850 hugs
given |
#11
and so i start hating pdoc again because pdoc is being contradictory
i wanna give up. really. the thought of ending it all just overwhelms me. __________________ "The is no better exercise for the human heart than reaching and lifting others up." - John Holmes herethennow: This ward is a prison! dx: recurrent MDD.
Wardmate: No.. here's not a prison. *points to brain* Here is. |
angelene, Anonymous37807, Anonymous37914, Bark, BubonicPlague, Clara22, regretful, Turtlesoup
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2008
Location: PsychCentral
Posts: 1,185
16 8,255 hugs
given |
#12
Quote:
Can you see a different doctor or are your options limited? |
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Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2008
Location: PsychCentral
Posts: 1,185
16 8,255 hugs
given |
#13
Moving was less stressful this time. But as my friend said, I have a lot of stuff, lots of it I could just throw away.
Here's hoping the year ends well and I'm able to deal with the inevitable anxiety. On the plus side, I'll probably start eating better. |
angelene, Anonymous37914, Clara22, hope2010, regretful, TheOriginalMe, Turtlesoup
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: USA
Posts: 22,125
(SuperPoster!)
10 |
#14
It's viciously cold in my apartment. I'm wearing a sweater, a hoodie, a jacket and a T-shirt and I'm still freezing. I need gloves and wool socks. I feel kind of sick to my stomach. I don't even remember the last time the sun shone a little.
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angelene, Anonymous37914, Bark, boomerango, Clara22, hope2010, TheOriginalMe, Turtlesoup
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#15
Well, it snowed last night so it looks like we may have a white Christmas after all. It's half raining/half snowing this morning so unfortunately, I don't think I'll get my jog/walk in. There's always tomorrow for that. Doing laundry and going to go to the grocery store soon. Will probably hit an AA meeting at noon and then go horseback riding. Feeling a little bummed out this morning. Not sure what I want in my life.
Also, not looking forward to tomorrow. We're going to my husband's sister's for the afternoon/evening. We'll be driving separate cars because lately I can't stay up much past 8:00. I just am too exhausted/overwhelmed. I guess I will say that I don't feel well when I get ready to leave - - which will basically be the truth - - but will feel crappy because I'll feel like everyone knows when I say "don't feel well" that it somehow traces back to my mental health. Last year I made it until 9:45 p.m. I think. That will NOT be happening this year. Very frustrating. . . Last edited by Anonymous37807; Dec 23, 2014 at 09:24 AM.. |
angelene, Anonymous37914, Bark, hope2010, regretful, TheOriginalMe, Turtlesoup
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Jun 2012
Location: USA -
Posts: 1,863
12 1,194 hugs
given |
#16
It's a day when I feel a bit stuck, not able to find that place of happier thoughts...I'm working through it, and though I probably said this yesterday, I'm doing a bit better than a year ago at this time as then I was 4 days away from hospitalization...
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angelene, Anonymous37807, Anonymous37914, Bark, hope2010, TheOriginalMe, Turtlesoup
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Poohbah
Member Since Mar 2013
Location: RJAA!
Posts: 1,006
11 1,850 hugs
given |
#17
Quote:
--------------- (trigger warning here) ---------------------------- so pdoc, in july, said that she's okay with my si. she doesn't advocate it, but she's ok with it. and now? she's freaking banning me from si-ing. @&%*&@#*^! EVEN T IS MORE UNDERSTANDING. yes, SI isn't good and all.. but it's this thing that helps to stop me from taking a step further. so annoyed. pissed. and. still down. being a burden. __________________ "The is no better exercise for the human heart than reaching and lifting others up." - John Holmes herethennow: This ward is a prison! dx: recurrent MDD.
Wardmate: No.. here's not a prison. *points to brain* Here is. |
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angelene, Anonymous37914, Anonymous445852, Bark, TheOriginalMe
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#18
I'm still tired. Can't eat properly or sleep even though I did go back and take my meds. I never stopped, just one night was a bad one for me.
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angelene, Anonymous37914, Bark, TheOriginalMe, Turtlesoup
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Legendary
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: USA
Posts: 12,634
(SuperPoster!)
13 5,469 hugs
given |
#19
I feel like I can't catch up with things I've fallen behind on. Not really depressed though.
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Member
Member Since Jan 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 267
14 1,103 hugs
given |
#20
I was feeling better, now I am sad, crying on and off, I can't stop thinking about the pass, I try to stop the thoughts with meditation, DBT, with all I know but is not working.
All I want is to stop crying, sleep, don't see anyone, don't talk. It is the time of the year, Xmas and New Year, away for decades from my family and sons, away, far far away. __________________ A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks. – Charles Gord |
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