[WrkNPrgress]

I have come to realize how deeply depression runs in myfamily and a lot of us deal with "inherited" depression and anxiety. I have a chronically depressed Mom. My brother has some depression - he's addressed it in front of us. As my Mom gets older, her health is declining for various reasons and the depression is more pronounced.

I'm in therapy and just starting to really unravel all the ways this has affected me throughout my life, understanding my own depression and anxiety. Learning self-care and reparenting. Overall I give myself- and my Mom - a lot credit. She did her best and was a loving parent, even if at times emotionally distant or absent because of her illness. She still has a whip smart sense of humor and creativity.

I've coped well enough but here it is at Holiday time and I get hooked into worrying about her and things I can not control. I get out of the house every morning to get some 'me time' and recharge. I try to focus on the positive and practice some form of radical acceptance.

But at times it's so clear how down she is and it's difficult not to get depressed myself. I just wondered if anyone else has family members with depression and how they cope with it while not getting sucked in. How do you find the equanimity?

[sideblinded]

I've done a little work with detachment. You really have no power over anyone who has any type of problem. You cannot fix or change anyone. Is there a way that you can still love her but separate your feelings from her's? That is what detachment is. You can detach from someone but still be in the same room with them. It doesn't mean that you don't love her. You may be a sensitive individual who can sense other's emotions well. That is why if we don't find a way to detach we will get depressed as well. I am also talking to myself here as I am a very sensing person.

I hope this help some.

[tallulahxoxo]

My mom has severe depression, as do I. I find it best if we each do our own thing.
We have a dry erase board on the fridge too, where we'll write "I love you" or "have a nice day" or "I appreciate you" or such things. Whenever the other does a chore we say thank you.
She's in treatment as am I. That helps too.
We also know when to leave each other be, like I said, we pretty much do our own thing. And when she complains (which she does a lot, lol) I sort of say "okay" or "feel better" and ignore it best I can. . She complains a lot. I don't want to be insensitive to her but I don't want to dote or encourage her either.. Idk.
Hope that helps and sorry you have to deal with it!! (: