[Born2Fly71]

Have you ever been afraid to do something simply because of the unknown factor? I have experienced a lot, and I am afraid to embark on a new journey because of the “known” as well. A nagging feeling in my head, a nervous feeling in my gut. I have a nasty habit of dooming things to failure before they have a chance to become something real; all because of my fear. When I was very young, I was often told that my behavior was unacceptable. I grew up and made a life for myself, but I still have an innate fear of criticism and ridicule. Perhaps those are my two worst fears. For many years, I have been made to think I am not good enough. I end up hiding away in reclusive style so as to minimize any exposure to that pain. I work hard daily, but then there is the issue of major depression. Depression rears its ugly head in such an unpredictable manner, that it can easily stop me in my tracks. At that point, I tend to believe all of the talk inside my head, and hold myself back; fearing once again that maybe I am not good enough. It is a painful catch-22 that always seems to dictate how I behave. I really don’t have anything to fear. I have made a decent living, I own a car, a house, I have a job and a daughter. I also have a divorce and a continuing recovery from drugs and alcohol. So if I am doing so well, why do I continue to fear? Why am I so hesitant to move forward? Why am I so resistant to change?

For starters, I have made a lot of bad decisions in my life. Now that I have lost because of some of those decisions, I am shy to try again. It has nothing to do with the people around me, it has everything to do with me. Is it selfishness? Maybe it is. Maybe I fear losing what I have managed to hold onto in loss. Maybe it would explain why I don’t have very many close friends. Do I push people away or do most people just see me as unapproachable? Whatever it is, I find it hard to function in a world that we live in today. I despise liars and infidelity. I am only in my mid-40’s, but I have an enormous intolerance to the younger generation. I feel like I am my own grandfather! Perhaps I don’t fit in to a world of liars and cheats; who would just as soon stab you as look at you. I want to get out there and live my life, but at what cost?

[CosmicRose]

Yes! Fear of the unknown is a big one for me. Fear is a natural human emotion, and its not something one can totally eradicate from their life forever. Our emotions are gauges, they help us plan and make decisions for our future - in that respect, fear can be a useful tool. It becomes a problem when one begins to cling to fear and latch onto it in despair and use it as a tool to not move forward. Something I'm guilty of doing as well.
I have many fears, fear of college, fear of embarrassment, fear of failure, fear of the unknown, fear of public speaking, fear of ruining relationships, fear of growing old alone, all of these are actually universal fears, almost every single person has them.

Here is a quote I just read a few minutes ago -
If you are depressed, you are living in the Past. If you are anxious, living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the moment.


by the way having a decent living and a good job is a wonderful thing and you should feel very proud of yourself for that.
I don't know if this is true for most people in their 40s but I do recall my parents not having many friends from their 40s to their 60s and I actually think this might be a common thing for many people at a certain age. You have coworkers, you have acquaintances, you have family members, and you have a couple of friends or not, that seems to be what happens as time goes by to most people...I guess its an individual thing though, but it doesn't mean you're unapproachable or anything, it just means that life becomes very busy for a lot of people and friends are not a main priority among daily life and responsibilities.

Just take every day at a time and try to stay present. That's all anyone can do. Positive thinking goes a long way, negative thinking keeps us stuck in pain.

[Born2Fly71]

If you are depressed, you are living in the Past. If you are anxious, living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the moment.

Thanks CosmicRose! I love the quote! I will keep it in mind this week. I'm sure it will help me to ground myself in the moment.

[gayleggg]

Born2Fly71 - I could have written your post. So many things that I see in myself.

CosmicRose - I love that quote. I remember seeing it before but didn't save it. I will this time. It is a good reminder. Because worry is my number two problem.