[cosmicrexia]

What should i do? She's really tired of my anger and mood swings, she said i'm a liar, and i just can't help it, i'm anorexic and i'm not okay, sorry but sometimes i have to lie about food, that's my illness, i wish i didn't have it. And i wish i were happy, i wish i could enjoy the time spent with my family but i can't. I want to be alone, but i don't want to lose her, she's my mother...

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[sideblinded]

(((cosmicrexia)))

I don't think your mom can just give up on you. She may be frustrated with you for not being honest but she will always be your mom and will always love you.

Are you getting any help for your mood swings and anorexia? Do you see a therapist or have doctors who treat you?

[cosmicrexia]

Originally Posted by sideblinded

(((cosmicrexia)))

I don't think your mom can just give up on you. She may be frustrated with you for not being honest but she will always be your mom and will always love you.

Are you getting any help for your mood swings and anorexia? Do you see a therapist or have doctors who treat you?

Yes i do, but they don't do much, public health system sucks pretty much, too much people suffering. And maybe she's frustrated but she told me to do whatever i wanted because she's tired, she even told me to go and kill myself if i want to.

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[sideblinded]

Originally Posted by cosmicrexia

Yes i do, but they don't do much, public health system sucks pretty much, too much people suffering. And maybe she's frustrated but she told me to do whatever i wanted because she's tired, she even told me to go and kill myself if i want to.

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This is a sad thing that she said that to you. It is also a sad thing that the mental health system sucks there. For this I am truly sorry. Is there any way to be honest with your mom about your eating habits? I was just wondering if the dishonest issue is the real problem for your mother's apparent mean remarks. Values seem to be very important to parents. I am just wondering if this is the biggest problem that is causing her to say these things to you. Can you wait until she settles down and try to talk with her?

[Idiot17]

((((Hug))))

[cosmicrexia]

Originally Posted by sideblinded

This is a sad thing that she said that to you. It is also a sad thing that the mental health system sucks there. For this I am truly sorry. Is there any way to be honest with your mom about your eating habits? I was just wondering if the dishonest issue is the real problem for your mother's apparent mean remarks. Values seem to be very important to parents. I am just wondering if this is the biggest problem that is causing her to say these things to you. Can you wait until she settles down and try to talk with her?

I'll try to talk to her again, but she doesn't believe me anymore, i've lied to her about almost everything, but i lied to her as a way of protecting her, i don't know if that makes sense. I didn't want to tell her, for example, how much i was drinking this summer, because i knew she would feel guilty, and then one day it was too much and she found out the worst way possible. That's just an example of all the things i've lied to her about in this time. She knows about my eating attitudes but she expects me to stop now that i've got "help". Apart from that, when i feel bad i can't tell her, as she expects sometimes. I always do the "i'm fine, leave me alone" thing. When i tell her i'm sick and i can't stop that easily, but i'm trying my hardest, she laughs at me and tell me i don't know what being sick means and she tells me to stop calling her attention this way. I don't get it. Why does she think i'm seeking attention when i never tell her anything right away?

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[shezbut]

I am sorry.

((((hugs))))

I recommend letting your barriers down, and be honest with your mother. It won't be easy, no, but it's better than continuing with lies and cover-ups. Are there support groups in your area for eating disorders? In the U.S., they are usually a free community service. It is something worthy of looking into!

Gentle hugs.....take care!

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((( hugs )))))))))

Originally Posted by cosmicrexia

Yes i do, but they don't do much, public health system sucks pretty much, too much people suffering. And maybe she's frustrated but she told me to do whatever i wanted because she's tired, she even told me to go and kill myself if i want to.

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i'm sure she didn't mean it

she's probably just frustrated because things arn't working- and she wants what's best for you, but she does not know what that is

[cosmicrexia]

Originally Posted by shezbut

I am sorry.

((((hugs))))

I recommend letting your barriers down, and be honest with your mother. It won't be easy, no, but it's better than continuing with lies and cover-ups. Are there support groups in your area for eating disorders? In the U.S., they are usually a free community service. It is something worthy of looking into!

Gentle hugs.....take care!

I'm getting help, i'm seeing a psychiatrist, and my doctor (gp) knows it as well, i'm not into group therapy, because when i'm at school i haven't got much time. I'll be more honest with her from now on, though, she deserves it.

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[Altered Moment]

Maybe your psychiatrist could talk to her. Sometimes that helps someone to understand better, hearing from a professional how hard these things are to overcome.

In my case I lied through my teeth about drinking and using as a teen and was always fine, just leave me alone. I would get busted and my mom would be deeply disappointed, frustrated, pull her hair out. "We are going to have a normal family even if it kills me." It didn't happen. Lol. It didn't kill her but damn near drove her insane. She has stuck by me and helped me throughout all these years and I am now 50.

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[cosmicrexia]

Originally Posted by zinco14532323

Maybe your psychiatrist could talk to her. Sometimes that helps someone to understand better, hearing from a professional how hard these things are to overcome.

In my case I lied through my teeth about drinking and using as a teen and was always fine, just leave me alone. I would get busted and my mom would be deeply disappointed, frustrated, pull her hair out. "We are going to have a normal family even if it kills me." It didn't happen. Lol. It didn't kill her but damn near drove her insane. She has stuck by me and helped me throughout all these years and I am now 50.

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Now she's better, i think she needed to calm down, and she's trying to understand. I'll tell this to my psychiatrist, for sure. I went through the same situation when i drank too much and got busted (passed out in front of them smelling of vomit, were hangover for two days) and wow, i've got to say my mom was really supportive, she tried to understand, although she never did, she never understood why would i want to drink that much. I remember writing down in one of my journals how alone i felt and how i wanted to get really drunk because i wanted to feel something and i wanted someone to kiss me/give me love, because that was the only way that would make it happen. But i'm thankful that i didn't become addicted to all that, only overdid it in the summer, and i still smoke pot sometimes, but not in the way i used to back then (always mixing, always making myself sick). Are you okay now with drinking and that stuff?

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[Altered Moment]

Yes. Thanks for asking. Been clean and sober for twenty years. Still suffer from depression though. I just don't deal with it that way anymore.

Glad your mom is better and calmed down. I think everyone's parents should be required to read these forums for two months....lol. Then they would have an idea what it is really like for us.