[Alter]

Yesterday i saw someone who i didn't saw in a while, i have feelings for that person. That person abandoned me, traded me for other people, i knew that but yesterday i took with it in the face for the first time, the emotions i felt were so strong i even had dissociation.

Now i can't take that image of my mind, i feel something very strong inside me i can't even tell what but its like a cold sensation in my chest it feel suffocating and even though im not crying i feel like i am. Maybe i am crying on the inside? Im just tired of all these emotions, i feel like im getting consumed by them, like im about to lose myself.

Im just tired of everything, tired of feeling...

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Update: I was in bed looking at the ceiling, i could not handle the emotion and for 1 minute i made my pillow all wet with tears. Long time since i last cryed didn't even remember how it felt... now i do.

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2nd Update: More than 30 minutes have passed, crying released my negative emotion a bit, but for some reason i lost my strenght, i feel dizzy like im about to vomit.

[sideblinded]

I am no T but it is possible that you had repressed emotions come to the surface that you did not know were there. You could have been triggered when you saw the person you have feelings for and these emotions that might have been bottlenecked started seeping up to the surface and it all was too much for you to handle. I think getting out emotions is a release that helps us in the long run. But at the time it is very distressing and scary. Keep feeling as we are meant to feel and when you have the urge to cry then cry.

I am full of grief over the loss of family members including 4 legged ones and sometimes these emotions come from triggers and sometimes they come from nowhere. I hope this helps in some way.

[waterknob1234]

Emotions can be so consuming. Sometimes it is good to cry and let it out. Hugs to you.