I have a great idea that I feel will help myself, in addition to many other people. I think that a lot of people who struggle with depression, along with other mental health issues probably have issues with being able to express their true selves and as the front they put up begins to crumble to pieces, people become confused, scared, and deeply sad. Over the years, many of us, if not most of us, have dealt with much social conditioning and punishment to remove various things that were subjectively seen as "negative" character traits and these things have been repressed within our psyche. However, repressing these things causes great problems in the end, if the traits are things that are significant to the person in some way.

For me, there are a variety of things that I have repressed deep down and at times lived in great fear of, not because they are dangerous, but because they socially did not fit into the norms of my circumstances. First off, there are a variety of ways in which I have differed from other guys. This, for me, is not an issue of sexuality, but a pretty sizable difference in thinking and sensitivity to things on an emotional level. This, I hid from others for fear of ridicule. As a result of this, I will likely lead a bit of a different life than I had desired previously. I will never be the strong leader, the one who can handle all sorts of difficult situations, or the one who can stand alone easily. However, I can be something that I would not necessarily be expected to be. I have a capacity to deeply and genuinely care about others and to be able to understand others.

The other is that I have a neurological condition which sometimes causes me to say things inappropriate for the context of a situation, but without meaning anything by it in any way. Also, this condition causes me to sometimes have difficulty with focus and attention on things.

Also, luckily, one thing that I have going for me is that I am exceptionally intelligent in many ways. Luckily, in most cases, this has saved me most of the time and has gotten me out of being in an even deeper rut. Luckily, since I have this, I believe that one day things will work out alright for me.

Thanks for sharing this Steve223. Yes, wouldn't it be wonderful if we could all just be ourselves? Unfortunately, even nowadays, we read or hear of news stories about individuals who took their own lives because they were being forced, by family members no less, into molds they could not fit. The tragic death of Leelah Alcorn comes to mind...

[waterknob1234]

I find myself often trying to put on the mask and pretend everything's just fine when I feel miserable inside. I am also sometimes the "odd" person that does not fit in or "follow the crowd."

[Clara22]

Hi Steve,
I agree with you