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#1
Jan 13, 2015, 02:18 PM
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I know I've been doing terribly lately, and my suicidal thoughts and self harm have been getting pretty bad. Last night my partner said he can't handle me being this way any more and rang the crisis team whose number he still had saved (maybe just a UK thing?) who told him to bring me to A&E (I refused) He was then told that if he can't get me to come that they will send an ambulance to "assist" him. So I felt pretty much blackmailed into going, sobbing my eyes out the whole way that I didn't want to go (I was scared of ending back on the psych ward). For the first time ever, the woman I saw at the hospital was kind and really supportive, maybe I've just had bad luck with who I've seen in the past because I've hardly ever seen anyone I felt cared. So she has passed me to the Crisis team who came out to my house today, and have arranged to come back tomorrow, 3 women came to my house (CPN, pdoc and a student CPN) which was pretty daunting but having my partner there to help when I was struggling did really help. Tomorrow they are bringing someone who can help me with my anxiety and panic attacks, to teach me some more breathing techniques etc to calm myself down which I think will be really helpful. I've also been referred to the mental health team who I will start to see after the crisis team feel i'm out of the "suicide risk" thing, then I'm starting CBT on Thursday. I've gone from feeling like I've got no support any more to being offered more support than ever and i'm already optimistic about it. I keep almost giving up because it's been over 6 years now and it's still here, but I have promised myself to hang on to life a little bit longer to see if all this support really will work and help me. I really did nearly go through with it last night, I think I'd have gotten myself in a very bad way if I had been alone. Anyway, now I'm kind of relieved I didn't go through with it seeing how much pain this has caused my partner makes me feel so guilty. I just hope I can keep this optimism a while longer.
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 Anonymous40413, Fuzzybear, Goldcrest, herethennow, Idiot17, Nammu, Rohag, waterknob1234
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 Clara22, herethennow, Idiot17, iditp20, Nammu, waterknob1234
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#2
Jan 13, 2015, 02:30 PM
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Quote:
__________________
My dog  mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.
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#3
Jan 14, 2015, 03:00 AM
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I know that having support is what I needed to get my anxiety back under control and not having the anxiety means that I have more capacity to deal with the depression. I do hope you are able to get back in touch with the coping skills that you have used so well in the past.
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#4
Jan 14, 2015, 08:21 AM
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__________________
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#5
Jan 14, 2015, 12:42 PM
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what great news!
and it's good to hear from you again too |
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#6
Jan 15, 2015, 05:37 AM
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I'm back on Venlafaxine again. Felt a bit like a naughty child being told off when they find out I stopped my meds cold turkey
 I suppose I kind of did bring all this on myself when I did that. Ugh I hate having to rely on meds, but I suppose there's not much I can do about that for now. They also gave me a Zopiclone to help me sleep (I've not been sleeping well and she thought that a good nights sleep would do me good), but I ended up with it not helping my sleep at all, and having hallucinations! Never taking any sort of sleeping tablet again if that's the reaction I get. Thank you all for being so wonderful, as always, you guys are always here when I need you and I'm SO grateful to you all
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| Anonymous37868, Clara22, TheOriginalMe
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#7
Jan 15, 2015, 11:52 AM
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Yeah cold turkey venlafaxine is no fun... I do it accidently rather than deliberate (I just lose track of days) and then the dizziness and disorientation hits me like a ton of bricks
 Glad to hear you are getting better support now!
__________________
 Independent Mental Health Advocate (IMHA): UK |
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#8
Jan 16, 2015, 08:02 PM
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Hi LittleJay. I am so happy you are getting the support and help you need. You deserve it. I came of Prozac cold turkey once and went into a rock bottom depression that was so hard to get out of. I don't like taking medicine either, but I figure if the medicine helps me function, then so be it, I will take the medicine.
Continue your treatment plan, and best of wishes. 
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| Little Jay
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#9
Jan 16, 2015, 11:08 PM
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Careful stopping the meds too quickly. That can start a whole lot of issues.
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#10
Jan 18, 2015, 01:41 PM
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I'm glad you're back and even more glad that this time they listened and got some support for you. Just receiving help somehow validates us, says we matter. Even more glad for you that you were able to get the help without having to go though the hospital.
__________________
Nammu …Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …... Desiderata Max Ehrmann |
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