Today I did a doozy and really let myself indulge in all of my destructive ways. I went and got a six pack of wine coolers, a pack of smokes and candy bars.
I had quit smoking for 4 months and I smoked 2 today, ate a bunch of junk, so I totally went off my diet and I got a little drunk. I haven't gotten drunk in about 5 years.
I don't know what prompted it. I think it's boredom, frustration, anger, lonliness-all of those nasty little emotions that need to be suffercated.
Anyway, I'm really bumming out because I feel awful about being so weak and undisciplined. I didn't even enjoy the smokes and the junk I ate although the drinking was kind of fun.
Oh well. At least I exercised today.
Time to start over.

[bipolar_bear]

(((((((((((((((((((((((((Jax)))))))))))))))))))))))))) Please try and not be so hard on yourself. A relapse of any kind is difficult but your right you can start over. I am sorry it is bothering you so much. Take care.

[lenjan]

(((((((((Jax)))))))))) It happens to the best of us. Look at how good you did for so long. One little slip-up is not the end of the world, even though it feels like it, I know. But you have all that good history behind you, so you can make it even farther next time.



Love, candy

Hi Bipolar Bear and Candybear,

You're right. It was pretty minor but I'm disappointed.
I'll do better tomorrow. Thank you for your support.

(((((((Bears)))))))))

I smoked one more cigarette and ate the last of the cookies and then I soaked the pack of smokes in water and threw them out.
My lungs and throat are going to be soooo sore tomorrow and I'm feeling nausiated from the smoking.
I'll have to do an extra set of exercises to work off all the calories I inhaled today.

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((( Jax ))))))))))))))))

((((((((Fuzzybear))))))))

Bears are sooo cuddly! Thanks beary much.