Feeling Super Sad and Lonely

Let me just start off by explaining the week that I have had. Seriously. You can't make this stuff up. My brother went to the ER twice in two days for first threatening suicide and disappearing and then for threatening to kill someone at his school. Then on Tuesday night my boyfriend of four years dumped me out of nowhere. Over the phone. Then he blocked me and refused to speak to me, saying that it would be "too hard". Then I was dropped from an important class and had to beg to be let back in. My grades are dropping dramatically because I've been so distracted. My stress is through the roof. Then on friday my house was broken into while I was still inside and I hid in the bathroom screaming and calling the police while the intruders tried to kick the bathroom door in. Then the same guys came back yesterday and started rattling the doorknob of our front door, trying to get in. The cops were called both times, and they haven't been caught. Now that I have a moment to catch my breath, I'm just sad and lonely. I got rid of all the things my boyfriend gave me, thinking it would help, but now I just feel even more depressed. He was my whole life. And I know that's unhealthy, and I know that ultimately this is going to be good for me, but right now it just really hurts. I miss the excitement I felt when he'd text me after work and now there's just silence. I just deleted him on Facebook because it was too hard to see all the things he was posting. I'm so hurt and confused and lost and I don't want to start everything over. It hurts. It hurts so bad. My room feels empty and I have this super painful tightness in my chest. I feel like no one wants me. I feel worthless and ugly.

That is a great deal of trauma. You are not worthless and you are not ugly its just your mind playing dirty tricks. You will get through this.

I would worry first about your safety. Make sure all locks on the windows and doors all work properly and are secured. I would ask neighbors and friends to look out for suspicious activities near your home and to call the police if they notice anyone near the home or parked outside. Keep in contact with the police.

Your school work should come second because it helps in two ways. Better grades move you ahead and studying keeps the focus off of the breakup. If after four years that is how he behaves??? It hurts so cry, and cry, but do not give up on yourself. You deserved much better.

Try and help your bother. Talk with him. See what is going on. Is this all new behavior? Has anything happened? Then research on finding a therapist for him and encourage him to go.

We've been working pretty closely with our neighbors and now nearly everyone has security cameras up. We installed a new security door and lock. It was just really scary :/
As to the grades, I'm trying, but everything is slipping through my mind like water. I'm not necessarily focused on anything else as much as I just can't focus on anything at all! I'm so frustrated.
For my brother, not new behavior, unfortunately. He's been with the same therapist since the age of six. His behavior started deteriorating when he got into an unhealthy relationship with a girl who's just a sixteen year old girl; not ready to handle anything as serious as my brother. It isn't her fault, and it isn't really his either. We're trying to work through it but some days he's ready to work and some days he's just not there.

Relaxation and mindfulness techniques might be worth a try.

Also check for mental health resources offered at the school as it may be PTSD related. Consider taking an incomplete grade if available to take some pressure off.

It may be time to consider a new T.

An update four months later if anyone cares: Life has been much better, I've been exercising every day, passed all my classes with a B or higher, and I recently started seeing someone new. I'm focused on keeping it healthy, establishing boundaries, and respecting myself. I've made new goals and I'm doing my best to stay with them. I haven't been low in a while, but I also haven't been manic (I have bipolar disorder). I'm really happy for the first time in a long time. The attack by the three men who broke into my house has definitely left a little bit of trauma, but I've been learning how to fight and defend myself, and I feel much more confident. I've really discovered that focusing on me and my needs for the first time in years is really turning my life around.