[nini90]

Today I turned 23 and felt happy at first but now I'm evaluating my life and feel like I haven't accomplished enough. I feel like there's pressure to go out with friends (which I don't have any) and like I should've dated by now (never had a boyfriend). I have some social anxiety and really don't socialize with anyone. Not to mention I'm in last year of college so definitely feel left out.

How can I not feel bad about celebrating alone?

[Rohag]

First: Happy Birthday, Nini90!

Yes, "celebrating" one's birthday alone can be discouraging and even painful. I'm sorry.

Social anxiety... Social anxiety doesn't help, but how much time do you have to socialize in your last year of college? Your socializing years may be just in front of you.

Does your college have a counseling center where you could freely talk?

[pnw1]

Happy Birthday Nini90!

Yes, I feel like you do . I don't have many friends, I am divorced and have spent the last few birthdays alone. Don't feel bad, its ok. I am sorry you are alone, I know how it feels.

Yeah, how about some therapy at school? I bet you might be able to find someone really great to talk to about this.

[einsam]

I really do think some people are late bloomers who need to adjust to difficulties or gain new understandings before they find their niches. My grandfather was an engineer and wanted my father to do the same, but he instead pursued a degree in philosophy and started programming after the first two of his four children were born in order to provide for them. He's still cleaning up other people's bungling at 61, far past the age where most people become obsolete in his field. Not everyone simply leaps and lands on what's right for them, but that doesn't mean there isn't anything.

[waterknob1234]

Hi nini90. Happy birthday. I know it is hard to enjoy a birthday when you are alone. Social anxiety is hard. I did not have it when I was young, but now I have it as I am older.

Being in your last year of college your studies probably keep you very busy. I am thinking outside of that, find out what hobbies or talents interest you. If you join a group based on things that interest you it may become easier to mingle and make real friends.

Love and hugs to you. I wish you the best.

[meganb22]

Oh my god. I read this and I immediately thought of my life. I'm turning 23 in April and I haven't had a boyfriend, and I have like one friend! At least you are in your last year of college and will graduate. I have enrolled and dropped out twice. Be proud of that! It is quite an accomplishment.

Being in our twenties is hard

[Bimmer01]

I know the feeling. I just turned 27 and really didn't want to celebrate. I haven't had a girlfriend and my career has gone south in the past year.

[Cal30]

"How can I not feel bad about celebrating alone?"

Gratitude.

If you can experience gratitude for all that you do have and all you have done, then you won't feel bad about celebrating alone.

That being said, sometimes feeling bad is there to help us change. For example, when you feel bad about doing something wrong, you can use that bad feeling to help change your behavior.

Before I write anything else, here is an important question for you: do you want to have friends and a boyfriend or do you prefer to remain alone?

Cal