[afeelingd]

I've been having some extremely violent thoughts about people recently. Like ways to harm these specific people. How should I deal with this?

I've come close to actually doing it once because these people hurt my feelings and I feel that I should make them pay in an and every way. I'm very nervous because I've started to want to harm my mom. She just doesn't understand me and makes assumptions and it makes me so angry that I run around to stop.

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[striking]

Hi. I believe you should speak to a therapist, call a crisis line, or go to a hospital as soon as you can. Take care of yourself.

[FallingTears]

No-one deserves to pay in that way "afeelingd" and the fact that u are asking for help tells us that you KNOW that!
I have many thoughts about hurting myself at the moment that I have to fight. If they win , I get hurt and that's my choice.
There's a trend for the media to show unhappy people hurting other people - columbine, LINDT in Australia, British buses etc. Seeing all these angry people hurt others doesn't make it acceptable or normal!
You have to fight those feelings afeelingd because feeling something or thinking something doesn't make it real. And once you hurt someone u face criminal charges. Is that what u really want?
Go to yr hospital casualty/emergency and demand help PLEASE! You'll feel much better.

Please.

[Frankbtl]

Hi afeelingd, if you feel you're at real risk of harming someone then you really need to see a doctor A.S.A.P.........as well as the harm you could cause someone.........if charges aren't pressed then there is the possibility it could escalate and escalate and............and if charges are pressed (or even if not!!) you face the legal consequences, the fact that it happened could still follow you around in life in so many different ways.
Now that said, really well done on reaching out for help with the problem
And there can be different ways of handling it..........maybe you could look into if some of the anger has been indirectly coming from other things........I know you've been hurt a lot in the past..........and try to get more help with those issues.
Maybe you could try "rationalising" a bit more why some of these specific people have hurt you (if applicable!!) e.g. they may not realise what they have done, the way things may effect you.........it may not excuse things but sometimes having "reasons" to work with might help.
Maybe you could work on calm ways to express your feelings to these people which may reduce the chances of them hurting your feelings in the future.
Maybe you could use some of those experiences/hurt more "constructively", more as a tool more to help protect yourself in the future........e.g. if you can identify "red flags" to watch out for with other people.
Maybe you could distance yourself from these specific people a lot more, and turn a real sharp focus instead to other people, people who are generally more considerate towards you.
Maybe you could work on trying to identifying feelings of anger towards these people as they come up and get in there with some relaxation techniques or breathing exercises to let go some of those feelings. And maybe look up mindfulness techniques to help you with that too.
Maybe google "Anger management" forums, for some ways to manage the feelings that arise or support with them.........there are a lot out there...........so if any stand out as helpful to you.
So just some thoughts, some of those may not be applicable to you.........but hopefully something might be, just a little???

Alison

[vital]

Originally Posted by afeelingd

I've been having some extremely violent thoughts about people recently. Like ways to harm these specific people. How should I deal with this?

I've come close to actually doing it once because these people hurt my feelings and I feel that I should make them pay in an and every way. I'm very nervous because I've started to want to harm my mom. She just doesn't understand me and makes assumptions and it makes me so angry that I run around to stop.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hi afeelingd,

I'm not a professional, but know the feeling and I really think that anger like that, being fearful, feeling that people are trying to harm your or that people don't respect you or that people don't want to be with you is just part of your depression. This is a trick that fooled me for a long time and I think it fools many people. Your anger is real. The reasons that you are angry are real reasons and your perceptions of the situations making you angry are likely to be correct perceptions. The trick is that all of this is misdirecting you away from the true underlying problem. The true underlying problem doesn't have anything to do with the people you are angry at or with the reasons for your anger. None of that makes any difference. It doesn't even matter whether your perceptions are accurate or not. If you want to read about what I think is actually going on and what to do about it, start here

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...n-escaped.html

- vital

[afeelingd]

Originally Posted by vital

Hi afeelingd,


I'm not a professional, but know the feeling and I really think that anger like that, being fearful, feeling that people are trying to harm your or that people don't respect you or that people don't want to be with you is just part of your depression. This is a trick that fooled me for a long time and I think it fools many people. Your anger is real. The reasons that you are angry are real reasons and your perceptions of the situations making you angry are likely to be correct perceptions. The trick is that all of this is misdirecting you away from the true underlying problem. The true underlying problem doesn't have anything to do with the people you are angry at or with the reasons for your anger. None of that makes any difference. It doesn't even matter whether your perceptions are accurate or not. If you want to read about what I think is actually going on and what to do about it, start here


http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...n-escaped.html


- vital

I generally make my own decisions. I know what I'm choosing to do. Maybe I'm just chemically imbalance and I'm not corrupted. My root issue has nothing to do with decision making. I'm not generally a procrastinator, I usually do things on time.

Also, I'm not sure there is a such thing as getting over depression, I've just happened to be this way from various things, the bullying I got tormented me mentally to the point that I want to harm any threat to my new found normality. It just has gotten to that point. I think that even if I wasn't depressed. I'd still have these same violent thoughts.

Have I ever hurt myself? Sometimes, not generally because I dislike the marks and they just make me feel worse. However, I do unconsciously not care about what happens to me (my low self esteem) and I throw myself wherever I need to go when I play sports. I don't feel the pain at all, I feel like I'm making a noble sacrifice.

In response to your Snap Club, because I already make decisions, knowing what's happening, knowing what my subconscious is doing it for, do you think it'll even effect me?

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[vital]

Hi afeelingd,

Originally Posted by afeelingd

I generally make my own decisions. I know what I'm choosing to do. Maybe I'm just chemically imbalance and I'm not corrupted. My root issue has nothing to do with decision making. I'm not generally a procrastinator, I usually do things on time.

That is very unusual for someone whose main problem is depression. I'm not even sure that depression is your main problem at this point.

One thing that's important to realize that the whole "chemical imbalance" story of depression (and schizophrenia) is false. Unmedicated depressives do not have low serotonin and unmedicated psychotics don't have high dopamine. This has been know by the late 1980s but the story was propagated anyway. You can see why it is a convenient story for a drug company. If you think you have a chemical imbalance, you think you just have to take drugs, just like a diabetic. Robert Whitaker's books are a good reference for this. It's important to know because it means that you are not fated by biology to need drugs.

Originally Posted by afeelingd

In response to your Snap Club, because I already make decisions, knowing what's happening, knowing what my subconscious is doing it for, do you think it'll even effect me?

I can't be sure, I would be willing to bet that it still has at least some positive effect on you. If you are going to give it a try, though, please note the few posts following the post at the top of the thread. It helps to start with tiny tiny immediate decisions in your daily life that are of no importance and are things that you normally don't consciously decide anyway.

- vital

Hey bud.
You should talk to your therapist about this, call a crisis line, or go to the hospital. Try your best to stay strong. They're just thoughts that do not need acting on.

[Cal30]

"What do I do with these thoughts?"

Don't act on them!

Writing about them here on the boards is a good idea. Talking to a therapist, a doctor or clergy is a good idea, but the worst, most foolish and destructive idea would be to act on those violent thoughts. You'll be digging your own grave if you do that.

I've had violent thoughts in my life too. The key when they come up is self-control.

Once the thoughts are gone, it can be helpful to determine the root cause of those violent thoughts, and then work on that specific issue.

You said that your mom doesn't understand you and makes assumptions. That's a starting point. We all want to feel understood. One possible solution is to forgive your mom, realize that she has flaws and limitations just like you, and seek to be understood in a different relationship.

Just some ideas.

Cal