[aheta]

I'm going to talk about suicide. If that's uncool with you, this is the warning.

Okay.
It sucks. You tell anyone "hey, I'm going to kill myself." They say something like "don't kill yourself," or better yet "have you tried therapy," the list goes on and on but everyone goes along the same vein. Don't kill yourself, don't kill yourself.

I've tried therapy. Only one therapist I've really connected with. He never discouraged me. In fact, he was very ambivalent about the whole thing. It was like a breath of fresh air. I can't tell anyone about committing suicide because the response is going to be the same.

Honestly, there's no solution. I don't even know why I'm posting this. It's just that it sucks that people can't not be hurt when I kill myself. Sorry, if I kill myself. I'll give myself the benefit of the doubt.

[eskielover]

Well, society isn't going to tell you....."Great, go ahead....you need some help?"...That's not something you would even tell your worst enemy.

Personally all the suicides I attempted, I didn't tell anyone because it wasn't anyone elses business. Just curious...why do you tell people if you don't like the answers you get anyway?

Personally, I was in pain in so many ways but in reality, I didn't know why & I had no way of putting it into words like I do now looking back on it over 10 years later.....it was the whole situation I was living it...but at the time I thought it was JUST the loss of my computer engineering career & the loss of my identity (that played a part in the attempts but it wasn't the REAL reason). I hurt & I wanted out of life because I didn't want to live any longer. I'm sure the trapped feeling was there but I didn't recognize it at the time, I knew I just wanted out & that was the only way I could figure out HOW to get out of how bad I was feeling & it's really bad they the bad didn't have exact words to describe it which made the pain even worse.....but I never told anyone nor did I ever write a note....probably because I didn't know how to express what I was feeling anyway but the bottom line was it wouldn't have mattered what anyone said anyway, so I wasn't going to say anything to anyone.

The reason people are hurt when we kill ourselves is the same as they hurt when anyone they know dies....only when it's a suicide, it feels to them like there was something they should have done to help you feel better.....so you end up adding in guilt to the already hurting feeling of loosing the person permanently to death.

What I ended up finding 13+ years later is that changes did happen in my life & the situation I felt trapped in didn't change but a way out opened up & I took it & escaped, fled....what ever you want to call it...but the freedom of leaving where I was trapped has given me a wonderful life 2100 miles away from where I had lived all those years. A freedom & a peace in my life that I had never known existed before.

I'm glad that I didn't succeed at any of the attempts all those many times because I would have never experienced joy in my life like I have now even with the struggles I've gone through since leaving.....it's still so much better than what I was going through.

That is another reason why people discourage suicide because even those of us who have tried & not accomplished & have had live changing experiences years later....can tell you that it's not always going to be as bad as it seems when you are wanting to kill yourself from personal experience & other know that is probably true so they don't want to encourage or even be apathetic about it .

[Frankbtl]

Hi aheta, do you reckon those responses make it feel like people are invalidating your feelings, "patronising" you, dismissing how bad/hard it is for you.........when they aren't actually listening to you, aren't actually "walking in your shoes", aren't actually helping you to feel differently....................???
Well if you want to talk and you don't want to hear the "Don't!!"s, that's cool with me.......let's instead talk about those feelings and some of the things/anything that may be making you feel that way, hey??
And perhaps if we can work through some of those........well who knows........
So, over to you..........I hear you, and here for you if you want to talk..........

Alison