And on,And on,And on,I fall.

Hi, for those of you who read my possts before you know my sitaution of depression, but what you don't know is the on going battle to improve that slumps me.

Being 17 and a guy I find it most difficult to get through to anyone in a loving way romanticly or not. I love people easily, because I see what could be in them and what could be in me as well. Regardless of past history I never judge a person, sometimes that worsens their chances of imrpovement.

I've lost all will in my friends, I opened up. Recently my friend who knew of my depression for 2 years I asked him why he never asked me about it...he said he didnt want to bring it up. I said fair enough, so I begged him to check in on me for support theone thing we all need. He never did, we slowly diffeted after agruments, my therapist said go back to him, and the others who also said that, I did, but I dont see the fairness, I only needed a "hi how are you" every once in a while.

Well I didnt go in depth sry but thats the jist of it.

I think most of the time they don't know what to say and "Hi how are you" to most people has been converted to a fairly shallow way of saying hello.

Maybe a few of the very close ones, you can go back to. They might be willing to watch for the "signs" - though it is pretty easy for us to weasel out of those too. Even if it is just one person who can actually ask - are you feeling down today? We may be able to somehow find the strength to nod yes.

I think the person who usually notices for me just doesn't want to go through the process again.

(((((((Moonkin)))))))))))

It's been my experience when people are asking me "How I am" that they're all just looking for a positive answer. It sucks. I've sorta got people I can talk to, but I hate being a bother.

Is there any of your friends that you think might be able to "deal" with your depression and be supportive of you? It's hard to find people sometimes, but I hope you're able to.

Yes - I'm never sure anyone asking 'how are you?' really wants to know and so I'm never sure what to answer. I hate feeling so distant from people. I'm glad you still love them. I was so like that at 17.
((((Moonkin))))