I really wish someone could understand me/relate to me. I dont care about anything. I have 37000 worth of loans that I need to start paying off in a year and all I do everyday is browse the internet and stuff myself with food.

I dont want to work. I hate working. Like those retail jobs that I have to get all dressed up for and put on a fake personality. Im very introverted.

Im teaching myself programming. I can learn it definitely but dont know how to apply for a job once I learn everything.

[shezbut]

Perhaps you can search for a Workforce Center in your area while you are online? There are a lot of great resources in those places!

Your list of moods sound very familiar. Irritability, loss of interest, isolation, etc. Sounds like depression. But, I'm not a doctor. Have you seen one to help at all? Sometimes, a med is all one needs to help them through. Most of us require more: therapy & meds.

Please do reach out ~ before the depression worsens.