[darkpurplesecrets]

What do you do when it seems you don't belong there or here? When sleep does not come until 4:00 AM and you sleep 1 hour and awaken so terrified, gasping for air, and tears streaming down my face. Scared, alone, and unsure.

A fear so known in part but a lot is still hidden except these awful feelings that sweep over you as though raging wave after wave are trying to pull you under, back into the place you could not be yourself any longer to even survive?

They broke us all. Even the bad ones.

When everyone in your dream is leaving you, cussing, screaming, and yelling that you cannot take a breath for the fear so deep and a known feeling of being left in an awful place where there was no escape from? Even the one's you felt were safe, turning away and screaming how worthless you are.

Laughing. Everyone laughing at your useless, nothing you are. I still hear it, it sounds evil and scary.

When your own child is crying for you to help them but you cannot reach far enough to even touch them as they too are being ripped away and you feel yourself struggling to catch them as you run so fast there is no air left, but they disappear.

Just gone. Everyone. And you are alone. Where does one belong when they seem to belong nowhere? When no one wants them? When everything around you is spinning and spinning and you are so confused as to who anyone may really be.

When in the words cussed and yelled echo your deepest fears somewhere---you are really nothing to anyone but a project. A project used up and whose time is over. Someone else replaced you. Someone else will be helped by what was learned from you.

I feel ripped apart this morning and like I am drifting a million miles away. I don't feel really here. Crazy as it sounds, it really hurts. It hurts more than words can say. It hurts into the depth of my fear based knowledge of all that I am.

I really am nothing, I really am not good.

I feel a million miles away, but where do I belong? If I don't belong there, and I don't belong here, I wonder if I belong anywhere?

I hurt, I am scared, and I am feeling far away. I just need a virtual hug. Maybe that is all I can ask for that will not hurt anyone ever again. Not even all of my selves.

I feel worthless. I wish I was good. At least good enough to belong somewhere even if it is only in my dreams. But not even there.

Please could I just ask for a hug??? There doesn't need to be words, just a hug????

dps

[gayleggg]

(((((((dps)))))))

[Wren_]

((((((((Dps)))))))))

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((( dps )))))))))

[Rohag]

((((((( DPS )))))))

[bluekoi]

((((darkpurplesecrets)))

[sabby]

My dearest friend

You are not broken. You are not broken. You are not broken. You are not broken.

You are a beautiful human being with so much love and care to give. You are not broken!

[waterknob1234]

I wanted to give you the hug with quotes around it but I could not figure out how to do that. Hugs and love to you. You are a wonderful and important person.

[pegasus]

You are very much loved here ((( dps )))

[Mindful55]

((( ))) to you DPS

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