What's depression like to you and a call for help

Edit: Sorry all wrong spot should be in depression discussion stupid smart phones :/

I've been having a rough month it seems. Lost my old therapist and the new one seems like he won't help after the first visit :/

Anyways throughout this month I've been pondering depression and what it would feel like in a grander scale then a person. I came to the conclusion that depressions a war of survival in a building.

As the battles of the days go down every hit from life hits that building. Eventually without a break to repair the damages caused, the building begins to decay. If this continues windows are soon boarded up and the door is barricaded to keep depression out only to lock the stalwart defenders in with no way out. At this point most of not all are ready and willing to fight it. Depression however, is something that would rather wait and deal decisive blows then onslaught the building. If help doesn't come parts of the building crumble and rooms are abandoned. These rooms were likely interest in smaller things or acquaintances. Not the most important things that are now moved to the center to support the building. Time may go on and a few rooms may be retaken. But depression never sleeps and continues the fight. Eventually if the battles end poorly too often the building becomes a bombed out shell of its former glory. The stalwart defenders holding out for help to come. But, some know help won't arrive till the fights already lost. The rest are in denial ready as ever to defend whatever is left still standing waiting for someone or something to help long enough to fix something of the building and continue the resistance for as long as they could manage. If help doesn't come the battles wage on and a steak of victory only managed to cover any major holes with some wood. The next lost battle ending with a harder time to fix the damages caused till the defenders finally succumb to the inevitable and surrender the whatever may be left of the building.

Anyways if anyone has a different take on depression I would be interested to read it

This is how I at least see depression and I feel tired of the constant war in myself and that poor building taking hits it can't always withstand. I am thinking of asking my parents to hospitalize me as life's getting out of hands and I'm beginning to fear my less then logical side for doing something logical me would regret as my parents and I talked about this and their answers for my issues is fake it till I make it which hasn't worked and their response was try harder then :/

I kinda like my melancholic. I get to feel deeply for it.
I made a choice at 15, that leaves me recognizing that I am not at war within myself, depression isn't my enemy. It just is.

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I drew my depression and showed my T the picture of a dark shadowy figure with horns and torn wings. I feel that my depression is not anything in specific, I get it in the middle of the day or in the middle of family. I compare myself to those who i believe are normal. I continue to wonder if I am supposed to be here. I never thought that I would get this bad and you may have it worse than me but I know that when I get depressed I begin listening to music which promotes the depression and that doesn't help. To me depression is an entity that lives inside and when I get tire or weak it comes out to try to keep me down. I have been seeing my T for a couple of sessions and I have many things going on but she is trying to identify some triggers for these feelings. I hope this is what you wanted to know. I hope you find what you need to heal and overcome this troublesome nightmare that can sometimes leave us paralyzed. Be well!!