[MooseintheReeds]

My father's mother committed suicide when he was young and he ended up in foster care for the rest of his life. I have suffered with depression since I was ten so it's always been a part of my personality. I wonder if I can ever truly overcome these pattern of depressive thoughts since it seems to be my genetic heritage.

My pdoc has recommended I see a therapist for my extremely low self-esteem and to help work through my negative thoughts. (She is regulating my meds to help with my depression and anxiety)
She recommends a minimum of six months of therapy to see a difference.
I am scheduled for a therapy session at the end of the month but I wonder if I can ever truly overcome these pattern of depressive thoughts since it seems to be my genetic heritage.

I am considering trying Ketamine therapy. I am unemployed and the cost of the therapy will eat away all my savings. At this point, I am ready to try anything to make these horrible feelings of despair. I feel like I'm at the absolute end of my rope.

Has anyone here tried Ketamine therapy?? Is it enough to end the feelings of sadness and despair to feel better??
Will I be happy if I'm not depressed? I can't remember ever being happy in my life....it's always been when I accomplish this goal I'll be happy. When I've have done this my 'real' life will start.

[*Laurie*]

How do you go about getting Ketamine?

I've read some interesting things about Ketamine...that it could be an effective treatment for depression. The only person I know who was given Ketamine by a p-doc had a very bad experience with it (flashbacks and other frightening stuff). That's all I know about Ketamine.

I was on ketamine for two days back in 2012 after a leg amputation. It didn't help for my depression.