[flyingakite53]

I am new to this site and I thought it would be a good place to get some answers. I am a freshman in college and have felt somewhat sad since 8th grade. That was definitely normal at the time but it hasn't worn off. In the past year and a half it has gotten worse, but it was always a manageable kind of sadness that I can put out of my mind to go about my very busy days. Recently I had a really important exam that I failed and since then I felt something in me change. I feel as though the manageable sadness I have had for a while has just become full fledged. At times I feel suicidal but I know that there are people that would be really upset if that happened. I'm not really sure why I feel like this, but mental illness is present in my immediate family. I feel fatigued most of the time and try to drink a lot of coffee to give myself energy. Its really hard for me to get motivated and I want to stay in bed all the time. I talk to a therapist but Im not open enough about my feelings for her to actually know anything I don't think. I don't have low self esteem but I am just plagued by how shallow people are. I am overly empathetic and feel hopeless about the world's problems. That's just a little description of what's going on. Im just not really sure what to do.

[gayleggg]

It sounds like you have a lot of the symptoms of depression and that it would be best if you sought help. Maybe the school has a counseling center that would help you sort through your feelings.

[Walking Man]

If you are comfortable with your therapist try getting things out more. If you're not comfortable, maybe it would help to see someone else.

Isolation is the worst. It's really hard when you are hurting so bad and alone. My second year of college was like that. If you can, open up to someone about something. It's really scary, especially if you are afraid of rejection, ashamed, or just afraid. You can pick something not so scary and start there. When someone asks you how you are, you could even just say, "I've been better.", or "I'm upset about the test.", or "I feel lousy." You don't have to explain, but being more open about your mood will help you feel less alone. Most people aren't that shallow, even if they act like they are, but that doesn't mean that it's easy to connect with them, or that they are as sensitive as you are. The good part about feeling deeply about things is that you can experience beautiful things too.

College is "supposed" to be fun, but it can often be very hard and lonely, especially when you are new somewhere. That's normal. Hang in there! What helps me sometimes is getting off campus for dinner, a movie, coffee, cookies, a relaxinI concert or play, etc. It doesn't solve everything, but I get overwhelmed with all the work and being in the same places all the time, and the break helps.

[flyingakite53]

Thank you guys for the helpful insight!

I agree with gayleggg. You have some clear symptoms of depression. Sounds a "mild" depression since it is not affecting your daily life. I am a bit worried about being suicidal though. The best thing you can do is SEEK help immediately.

DX: Major Depressive Disorder, Panic Attacks & Anxiety
MX: Pristiq 50mg - Wellbutrin XL 150mg

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

There are so many things that you wrote here that reminded me of myself during my freshman year in college. At that age, I would get so angry at people for being so shallow. Looking back now, I think people in the 18-22 age group *are* generally more shallow than they will be when they get older. Some of them will always remain shallow, but most will get more mature in that aspect. Brains finish developing, people have bad things happen to them, their family members or close friends that cause them to re-examine their views, etc. So don't give up on people just yet. They're still growing.

As far as feeling hopeless about the world's problems, that one is always a problem. I try to remember to "Think globally, act locally." Sometimes I cut back on the amount of news I take in because I need to protect myself. If the awful things that happen in the world cause me to become incapacitated, I don't see that any good comes of that.

The test grade. I had that experience, too. I had always had extremely good grades and I failed a test. At that time, I felt like I had tried, but I needed to adjust my study habits. I wasn't used to classes where you absolutely had to keep up as you went because the material was too complex to "cram" right before the test.

I also dropped a couple of classes requiring good spatial perception because my brain just wasn't developed enough yet for them. (I didn't realize that at the time - I just knew I couldn't do the work.) I took them again a couple of years later and easily made good grades in them.

I'm glad you're talking to a therapist. If that's available to you, I would keep going.

I started drinking coffee in college strictly for energy. If I had known then what I know now about caffeine boosts and then crashes and its effects on blood sugar and adrenal hormones, I would try to avoid it.

Regular meals and enough sleep and exercise, even if it's only getting outside and walking, are very important in college.

College, if you're taking difficult classes, is full-time stress on your body and mind. Please try to develop good health habits to support them in their efforts.

I hope things get better for you.

[vital]

Originally Posted by flyingakite53

I am new to this site and I thought it would be a good place to get some answers. I am a freshman in college and have felt somewhat sad since 8th grade. That was definitely normal at the time but it hasn't worn off. In the past year and a half it has gotten worse, but it was always a manageable kind of sadness that I can put out of my mind to go about my very busy days. Recently I had a really important exam that I failed and since then I felt something in me change. I feel as though the manageable sadness I have had for a while has just become full fledged. At times I feel suicidal but I know that there are people that would be really upset if that happened. I'm not really sure why I feel like this, but mental illness is present in my immediate family. I feel fatigued most of the time and try to drink a lot of coffee to give myself energy. Its really hard for me to get motivated and I want to stay in bed all the time. I talk to a therapist but Im not open enough about my feelings for her to actually know anything I don't think. I don't have low self esteem but I am just plagued by how shallow people are. I am overly empathetic and feel hopeless about the world's problems. That's just a little description of what's going on. Im just not really sure what to do.

Hi flyingakite,

Here's my best advice for that:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/4262681-post105.html

- vital