[Lonely Kitten]

I was diagnosed w/depression on 11/20/14. I take 20mg of escitalopram (generic for lexapro) everyday. I have a genetic predisposition for depression (from my deceased Mom), and the loss of my biological parents (3 weeks apart) in 12/12, and severe betrayal from my so-called "stepdad" with numerous other losses on many levels, that occurred in 10/14, brought me to my depression diagnosis. I was feeling better, but about a week ago I started recording DVDs from old family vhs tapes. This has brought back a lot of pain, crying, and tears. My intuition says that connecting with the past (vhs tapes) has obviously brought on intense symptoms of depression, thus I need to be patient that my medicine (escitalopram) is still working for me? I know I shouldn't jump to conclusions that it's not working? It's just hard to be patient through this! I'm supposed to start cleaning out 2 huge storage units with tons of sentimental stuff, but I've been so weighed down by my emotions I've been procrastinating - UGH! I'm just not sure what to do. How long should I wait before inquiring on my med's effectiveness?

[gayleggg]

Sounds like to me that you just overloaded your mind with too many memories. I think anyone going through the grief process has to be careful of too much exposure to memories. I still have to be careful looking through photo albums and my mom and dad died in 2008 and 2010 respectively.

Be patient and try to curb walking down memory lane for a while.

I would go ahead and tell my doctor what's going on just in case he wants to raise them to help you through this slump.

[Frankbtl]

Hi Lonely Kitten, I'm sorry you've been through such a hard time with your family and for your losses
And it does sound like more of a case of intense triggering than your meds not working. Let's face it, even if you weren't depressed before, by the sounds of it those memories would likely be causing you some depression.......and the meds you were prescribed were for the depression you were suffering from.......add to that this and..........
Are you getting any sort of help/support dealing with what you've been through, other than meds though?? e.g. from a T or with counselling?? While meds can help a lot, meds and therapy/counselling can help even more in coping with experiences such as the ones you've been through.
Either way though, you will find a lot of support here on PC if you want to talk a bit more about your experiences.
But for now, if it's getting tough "waiting it out" or if you're still having problems in "revisiting" the past/feelings, perhaps you'll need to go back to your doctor/pdoc for some adjustment to your meds. And as for cleaning out the storage units...........can you either delay that, or at least have someone supportive go with you to help you/be there for you??
And keep on coming back to us as much as you need to, OK??!! There's no deadline on the grieving process or how long it can take to "overcome" betrayal........so if we can support you in any way.........

Alison

[Lonely Kitten]

Originally Posted by gayleggg

Sounds like to me that you just overloaded your mind with too many memories. I think anyone going through the grief process has to be careful of too much exposure to memories. I still have to be careful looking through photo albums and my mom and dad died in 2008 and 2010 respectively.

Be patient and try to curb walking down memory lane for a while.

I would go ahead and tell my doctor what's going on just in case he wants to raise them to help you through this slump.

Thanks Gayleggg! I really appreciate your support and advice. I have to remember to be patient and go easy on myself. It's especially hard because the more I learn about depression, I realize that feeling guilty can be one of the symptoms! I will consult with my psychiatrist to see what she thinks is best. Sorry to hear about the loss of your parents. Take Care!

[Lonely Kitten]

Originally Posted by Frankbtl

Hi Lonely Kitten, I'm sorry you've been through such a hard time with your family and for your losses
And it does sound like more of a case of intense triggering than your meds not working. Let's face it, even if you weren't depressed before, by the sounds of it those memories would likely be causing you some depression.......and the meds you were prescribed were for the depression you were suffering from.......add to that this and..........
Are you getting any sort of help/support dealing with what you've been through, other than meds though?? e.g. from a T or with counselling?? While meds can help a lot, meds and therapy/counselling can help even more in coping with experiences such as the ones you've been through.
Either way though, you will find a lot of support here on PC if you want to talk a bit more about your experiences.
But for now, if it's getting tough "waiting it out" or if you're still having problems in "revisiting" the past/feelings, perhaps you'll need to go back to your doctor/pdoc for some adjustment to your meds. And as for cleaning out the storage units...........can you either delay that, or at least have someone supportive go with you to help you/be there for you??
And keep on coming back to us as much as you need to, OK??!! There's no deadline on the grieving process or how long it can take to "overcome" betrayal........so if we can support you in any way.........

Alison

I really appreciate your support and advice Alison! I will be seeing my therapist on 2/2/15, so that will be helpful. I have to remember to be more patient with, and go easy on myself. It's such a double edged sword because the symptoms of depression can cause one to feel guilty! Thanks for reminding me that there is no timeline for grief, loss, and dealing with life's disappointments such as betrayal. Depression is such a complex illness. Especially being so newly diagnosed, I still fight the misbeliefs of being able to "snap out of it,"etc. I am so grateful for your support and PC! Take Care!

[avlady]

i am so depresed too. it never seems to fade, not one bit. does anyone know of any depression meds out there or how is Abilify?

[kiwi33]

Hi Lonely Kitten

In my experience psych meds often take a while (6-8 weeks for me) to kick in fully.

That is only a rough guide (everybody is different) but if you find that Escitalopram is not helping after about that time then going back to your prescribing doctor to discuss the option of another med with a different pharmacology is worth considering.

[Lonely Kitten]

Originally Posted by avlady

i am so depresed too. it never seems to fade, not one bit. does anyone know of any depression meds out there or how is Abilify?

Hang in there avlady. I would recommend finding a therapist. Then let the therapist find a psychiatrist for you if he or she thinks it will be helpful. Good Luck! Be gentle with yourself.

[Lonely Kitten]

Originally Posted by kiwi33

Hi Lonely Kitten

In my experience psych meds often take a while (6-8 weeks for me) to kick in fully.

That is only a rough guide (everybody is different) but if you find that Escitalopram is not helping after about that time then going back to your prescribing doctor to discuss the option of another med with a different pharmacology is worth considering.

Thanks for your support and advice kiwi33! It was very helpful for me.

I can't think of anything to add to the excellent advice given already. I hope it gets better soon. Stirring up old memories can definitely bring you down. But on the plus side.. maybe it's something that needs to come out and process/resolve.

[Lonely Kitten]

Originally Posted by George H.

I can't think of anything to add to the excellent advice given already. I hope it gets better soon. Stirring up old memories can definitely bring you down. But on the plus side.. maybe it's something that needs to come out and process/resolve.

Thank you for your support George H! You are so right - watching the vhs tapes has also made me realize all the things I'm procrastinating about, even though it's primarily from the depression. I need to express my feelings about some issues to some family members. Their response, or lack thereof, may evoke more pain, so I'm not strong enough to handle that at this time. But procrastinating makes me feel guilty and bad as well! Once again, depression shows it's complex, double-edged sword! Thanks for mentioning that these issues DO need to come out, be processed, and resolved. I definitely needed to be reminded of that - as painful as it may be!

You'll get there one way or another.

[pearlys]

Hi LonelyKitten, i was wondering how you are doing now?

[Lonely Kitten]

Originally Posted by pearlys

Hi LonelyKitten, i was wondering how you are doing now?

Hi Pearlys! Thanks for asking! Definitely no simple answer - in some ways a little better, but in most ways, worse! I received devastating news on 3/17 which validated the fact that the horrific betrayal from my ex "stepdad" is even much worse than I once thought. This has been extremely painful, & has brought on worsening depression relapses! Just when you think things can't get worse . . . The good news is after seeing my pdoc on 3/11, I started a secondary antidepressant, Wellbutrin (bupropion). I do think that somehow it's helping me a bit. I suspect that I might need to increase my dose. I realize now that I also have PTSD from the emotionally devastating losses I experienced last October. I've noticed more intense, vivid dreams about my deceased parents. They're always alive in my dreams, & I've cried bitterly for them in my dreams as well. In one of them, my deceased Mom cries with me because of the ruthless, heartless, & hurtful behavior of my ex stepdad, as she realized that he never loved or honored her, or me. The dreams are so bittersweet because they make me realize how much I love and miss my parents. It's very painful for me, but at the same time I know how blessed I was to have loved them, & been loved in return. Thanks for caring Pearlys. It was cathartic to write down what I've been going through. I hope you are taking care of yourself!

[pearlys]

So sorry to hear that lonelykitten. Hope one day u feel better.

[Fuzzybear]

[pearlys]