[Shiznit86]

Well thats it, the only good thing in my life is leaving me.

Possible trigger:

Ive had 12 hospitalizations and 18 overdoses and suicide attempts(probably 6-8 serious ones). I self injur, i have mdd, bpd, anxiety and lots of traits from aspd. I was raped by a man when i was nine, and brought up by alcoholic parents and an abusive mother.

All of this led me to abuse anabolic steroids, to grow SO big that nobody would be able to hurt me again. I was just accepted to an addiction treatment facility and will stay there a year. But my wife couldnt take all this anymore and left me. I have no idea what to do
I have never been on my own, and i dont want to be alone. .

Possible trigger:

i am contemplating ending my life so i wont have to suffer anymore.

Thanks for listening to my rant

[dandylin]

I don't know what to say to this. Please call someone

[vital]

Dear Shiznit,

I would go for the treatment facility. I don't think that anyone is fated to suffer from depression no matter what their genetics and no matter what their past problems and no matter how severe their past suffering.

- vital

[gayleggg]

Yes, definitely call someone. Your time in the treatment center can help you adjust to losing your wife in a healthy way.

Please seek help.

Best wishes, Gayle
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[butterflypower]

I don't know what to say except get the help you need.
I know if my boyfriend ever left me, I would go to the hospital to deal with it all.

I wish you the best!

[Shiznit86]

Thanks for your kind words and hugs everybody
Im still not sure what to do, like i said
Ill wait and see how i feel over the weekend. Again thnx for the hugs and best wishes i needed them right now

[Shiznit86]

**********possible triggers ***********

First off, i apologize to the admins and the possible people i might have triggered in my previous posts. So thanks for straitening that out admins.

Thought id fill people in on whats going on. Ive moved out of our house and in to my alcoholic parents basement. The whole moving process was harder than i thought and knocked me right on my ***.
Atleast Me and my wife split on good terms, so i still have access to my animals ( 2dogs and a minipig) . Ive been crying profusely these last couple of days.

Possible trigger:

so a few days ago i had an incident involving a suicide attempt

.
Today my wife and me went to couples therapy, where she discovered my recent attempt and fliped out on me.

Possible trigger:

this just made me go strait home and cut my legs up preatty bad

.

So thats whats new at this end. Im still alive (not for long though i hope). And im just trying to take this one day at a time.

Daniel

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by Shiznit86

i still have access to my animals ( 2dogs and a minipig) .

One bright light in a very dark sky.

Originally Posted by Shiznit86

Thank you for posting the photo - they are delightful! True friends...

i love your dogs. please look after yourself and stay safe. you are a very valued and important part of this world and you have been through such awful crap you didn't deserve. you DO deserve to get better and lead a good life.

[enickols]

Daniel, I'm sure your wife would be devastated if something actually happened to you. If nothing else, live on because your trials will be helpful to someone in your shoes later in life. You will be the person to speak hope into their life. Regardless of how difficult it seems, it could ALWAYS be worse. Make a couple calls to support groups and possibly a suicide prevention line. Hang in there and don't take the easy way out. Fight, on my brother!

Current Daily Meds:
3mg Klonopin
300mg Wellbutrin
10mg Lexapro
200mg Seroquel

[enickols]

Daniel,

Need help? United States:
1 (800) 273-8255
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Hours: 24 hours, 7 days a week
Languages: English, Spanish
Website: www.suicidepreventionlifeline....

Current Daily Meds:
3mg Klonopin
300mg Wellbutrin
10mg Lexapro
200mg Seroquel

[starryprince]

I really hope you're feeling better. My heart goes out to you. We all support you and we all want to see you happy! Plus, your animals are so cute. They love you a lot!

[color14u]

Take care of yourself first. Hopefully the rest will fall into place. You are in our thoughts and prayers.

[Shiznit86]

Thank you for all the care and kind words

[allme]

Sorry that you are going through this

Please speak to somebody...right now you need support and by the sounds of it you need it right away. Of Course you also have us

[Fuzzybear]

[Shiznit86]

Thanks again for all the supportive feedback and hugs.
Just to update you: Ive got an appartement so im out of my alcoholic abusive parents house. Ive used this week to move my stuff in and get settled. Its gonna be weird cause its the first time im alone. I dont like to be alone, bad things happen when im alone

Possible trigger:

but ok, if the bad things do happen i never have to worry about beeing alone anymore

Other then that ive gained about 7lbs the last two weeks due to comfort eating

[vital]

Originally Posted by Shiznit86

Thanks again for all the supportive feedback and hugs.
Just to update you: Ive got an appartement so im out of my alcoholic abusive parents house. Ive used this week to move my stuff in and get settled. Its gonna be weird cause its the first time im alone. I dont like to be alone, bad things happen when im alone

Possible trigger:

but ok, if the bad things do happen i never have to worry about beeing alone anymore

Other then that ive gained about 7lbs the last two weeks due to comfort eating

Congratulations on the big move! - vital

[pearlys]

Dear Shiznit, please hang on bro! I dont know what to say, I hope you can find the help you need and the help you deserve!

Take care.

[enickols]

Daniel, sounds like you're making positive moves in the tight direction. You're still in my prayers brother! Keep hanging in there! 😆

Current Daily Meds:
3mg Klonopin
300mg Wellbutrin
10mg Lexapro
200mg Seroquel

Sent from my Galaxy using Tapatalk

[Forever hopeful]

Daniel, try to see the hope even if you can't feel it . You wife loves you she went to counselling with you that is a good.. You got accepted for treatment!! Look at those little innocent babies you have there that love you unconditionally .. Hugs

I hope your time in the treatment facility will be of help to you.