So it's been a while. I was doing quite good. And then I felt it coming, slowly. Had the urge to cry earlier today. For no apparent reason. I warded off the tears. I hate crying when there's no 'real' reason. Now it's just 'bam'. Sorry, pain is taking over! Crying, sobbing. For what? At least I should have a reason to be so sad, in so much pain!? I just want to go away. Make it all stop! I'm so tired of this unexplained sadness that consumes me on every level.

[Frankbtl]

Hi Zayabean, you have every reason/right to feel sad, to feel...........
Depression..........your situation at home........everything you've had to cope with.........
So it's not "just you" not being "strong enough" or an unpredictable/uncontrollable/mysterious force that's come from no-where, it is completely understandable that you're finding things hard and plenty of people however strong they've been before would struggle with what you're going through, plenty of people would need real help/support to work through things
But the way you're feeling now, doesn't take away from your progress at all you know, you said you'd been doing well........the road to moving past depression often isn't smooth. It can be as much about very gradually (in the bigger picture) having less or shorter periods of............for some people. You have had progress, this doesn't need to mean it's the end of your progress
But of course what I've said might not help that much "in the moment", I'm sorry
So what do you think??? Sometimes allow yourself to cry, to feel the pain and validate those feelings??? Keep sharing those feelings with others when you can, they are understandable feelings???
Or from a different angle.........maybe find things to distract you, things to do or things that may help a little if/when those feelings hit??? Because they may/they can/they do
What do you think???
And more.........I know you're already getting some professional help........perhaps if you talk to them they could help a little more????
Still, here for you if you want to talk/share............I know it can be REAL "tough", but if nothing else we're/I'm here to try to lend you some understanding and support.

Alison

[Fuzzybear]

You have such a way with words. Thank you so much for your kindness, words of reason and compassion! This morning is better so far, though I have quite the headache again. Going to try and get out into the sunshine.

((((((Zayabean)))))) i hope you have a nice time in the sun.