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#1
Apr 24, 2015, 06:53 PM
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I can't be truthful in real life anymore. I feel like everyone is watching me and I feel like I have to perform perfectly. So far, as long as I smile, no one knows. No one knows that the nightly nightmares are back, that my thoughts are over powering my instincts to live, that my skin on my arms are itchy.
No one knows because they will take away my freedom, my choice. They will do what *they* see is best, and lock me away. What if I don't want help anymore? Oh wait, I'm crazy, so I don't know what I want, only they do.
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I appreciate your help.... But even you can't save me from myself. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Med cocktail: Geodon 40 mg
Dapakote 1500 mg |
 Marla500, tealBumblebee
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#2
Apr 24, 2015, 07:04 PM
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I know that feeling that has been me for the last year and a half I just pretend I am ok and it is exhausting but better than taking away your freedom. But if you are really struggling then maybe talking to someone not as in I am about to do anything right now but just that you feel bad might help.
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 Marla500, secretgalaxy
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#3
Apr 24, 2015, 07:17 PM
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At the moment, if I just say that I am even slightly struggling, they will push and push as they know I hide...
It is just best to "fake it till you make it" or actually "fake it till it kills you"
__________________
I appreciate your help.... But even you can't save me from myself. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Med cocktail: Geodon 40 mg
Dapakote 1500 mg |
| Marla500
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#4
Apr 24, 2015, 10:00 PM
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Once in a while I come right to the edge of revealing the truth, then have to step back. Because once the cat's out of the bag, you can't put it back in. I'll fake it til I'm ready to end it.
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| Marla500, secretgalaxy
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| secretgalaxy
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#5
Apr 25, 2015, 01:24 AM
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Same it is hard cause it is tiring to hide things all the time but what else can you do really.
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| secretgalaxy
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| secretgalaxy
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