[Notsoeazy]

Lately i've been so happy the thoughts of

Possible trigger:

killing myself

had vanished for about 6 months. Today at this very moment they appeared outta no where. Something in my head keeps saying do it! But I don't want to die but my mind keeps saying do it! And I keep thinking what if i do. I love myself my life everything. But why am I here?

I love myself I love my life is what I keep saying to myself. But all I keep thinking is just do it. Something in my mind keeps saying

Possible trigger:

kill yourself.

I keep saying I don't want to I don't want to. I'm so close to doing it. But I don't want to. All the tears that fall from my face is for my mother my cousin for my loved ones. I know if i do this they will hurt. But

Possible trigger:

I want to die

so bad and I also don't. I wanna live life happily not with these thoughts.

I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling like this. I know how hard it is to deal with. Do you see anyone for help? A doctor or therapist? Maybe they can help you find your way back to that happiness.

[Keyslost]

2nd what Zaya said and would like to add that what I think may be missing is a purpose. This can be a job venture, a dream you have/had, wanting to keep in touch with people and have them over, whatever you can think of. Is there anything that gives you a drive to keep going? I kind of lost mine for a bit but I'm starting to find it. What you describe was me 2-3 weeeks ago before I got my job. I was technically happy but no purpose so what am I doing sort of thing. So that's why I ask. Other than that I hope you can find your happiness again OP. Come talk to us more if you need.

[Fuzzybear]

[vishee15]

Thoughts are only thoughts, there are not there to be entertained by any means. It would be extremely silly if you as a person or rather a human started materialising every thought that your mind came across. Its all about self control.

Thoughts come from your actions, in buddhism they say that your thoughts are influenced by past life actions. Which mean that something bad could have happened for bad thoughts to come to you. Either way this information doesn't matter which is why you don't even know it. What does matter is that the universe is sort of trying to help you take control of yourself and your actions so that you can be a stronger individual. But of course being a human, you have freedom of choice to do what you please. (Beauty of life)

We all have thoughts from time to time like this but try not to regard it as 'annoying' or 'menacing'. Just regard it as a thought. Let it come to mind as it pleases and observe it. Smile at it, and then go in front of the mirror and do a silly dance. So once you learn to start treating it like this it will slowly subside and it won't be there anymore and you will even miss it.