I'm not doing well last night an today. Trying to stay safe. I called my T, who was useless but suggested I ask one of my parents to come home. My dad is on his way.

I really can't bear this.

Breadfish, I'm really sorry to hear you're not doing well. When is your next ECT?

Do you think a call to your pdoc might be in order? Perhaps you need a med adjustment?

Keep posting if you feel the need. We're here for you. Hang in there, and just take it moment by moment.

Thanks, newgal.

My next ECT is in a week. My pdoc is presently on vacation, I won't see him for another two weeks or so. I don't think my meds have to be adjusted; I was doing fairly well the last couple of days. Just not yesterday evening and today.

My dad and I drove around the area for 1,5 hour during which (regrettably it didn't last once I stepped out of the car back home) my thoughts calmed down some. My T spoke with the on-call psychiatrist and I could take half a tablet of antipsychotics (Zyprexa/Olanzapine) now in addition to my regular dose in the evening. I did that, now here's to hoping it'll do something. And I shouldn't forget that I have a "prescription bed" at the crisis ward of the psychiatric hospital I'm familiar with. I also promised my T I wouldn't try to "shut off" my mind by pseudo-suicide attempts. (pseudo because I can't actually die from them and the aim is not to die, but to reach oblivion)

A "prescription bed" (the translation is a little weird) is that you can call 24/7 to the crisis facility if you're not doing well and explain the situation. If the nurses agree it's warranted (and I've never heard of the nurses not agreeing if the caller wants to), you can go there and stay for 24 hrs during which you can calm down, take a break, whatever you want to call it or use it for.
You can also just call for advice or for a listening ear.

I haven't ever used it so far, but I know others who have and found it immensely useful.

Hope you're feeling better soon

[TheOriginalMe]

That prescription bed sounds like a really good idea, use it if you need it.

[Fuzzybear]