[meandboss]

Having a really hard time today, feeling so alone, and extremely angry at the fact that I have never had any help from my siblings (or anyone else) during the last 15 years of caring for parent(s) and their property. I am getting old, and it is a lot of work. I never get help or a break. Is 7 days a week for me, and to top it off I have a sick, disabled husband at home too. Not angry at my Dad (Mom has passed), angry at my siblings and others for never being there. Looks like no one cares, because you don't leave someone you care about with all the dirty work. Not only do I never get a break, it has ruined us financially and some things you never get back like time with my grand children and fun memories. We have zilch pretty much anymore. People wonder why I seem as if I am in a bad mood.....Wow.....Now I refuse to speak to my brother's, and others have hurt me something terrible. Is like we don't even exist over here, only remembered when the work needs done....Thanks for listening to my venting....

[gayleggg]

I can understand your frustration. It sounds like you have had to bare more than your share. I'm sorry no one has been there for you. You can vent here anytime.

[Fuzzybear]

[Fizzyo]

Vent away, that's what we're here for.

[meandboss]

Originally Posted by gayleggg

I can understand your frustration. It sounds like you have had to bare more than your share. I'm sorry no one has been there for you. You can vent here anytime.

Thanks Gayle for listening.

[meandboss]

Thanks everyone for your comments. It has been a rough week. A lot of appts. for Dad, and days spent at the hospital. To top it off not feeling so good myself. Having some problems with my legs and is hard to walk. Been doing all this work for so long by myself it is really taking a toll on me. I can't just quit, dad has no one else. I just keep telling myself to keep trudging along. Sometimes it is easier said than done. My piece of crap brothers have no idea what it is like. Maybe someday they will need someone and someone will be there for them like they were for others.....NOT!

[Fizzyo]

I really feel for you, its very lonely being sole carer for someone and must be even lonelier when that 'shouldn't' be the case.

[regretful]

Just a shot in the dark, but if you haven't looked around on this site www.caregiver.org , you might find some useful things to read. Like here, you may learn that you're not alone. Best wishes to you.

[avlady]

my parents are going through some hard times. my aunt was taking care of them, my dad had a fake knee put in my mom broke her wrist and foot. she is depressed since shes been bedridden since january. i took over at one point but couldn't handle it anymore and feel bad because of it. i have mental issues and my other 8 brothers and sisters should be there for them, but they have alot of kids of their own and family. they do help but not enough. i just am venting here as i cannot stand to see them suffer so much.

[meandboss]

Originally Posted by avlady

my parents are going through some hard times. my aunt was taking care of them, my dad had a fake knee put in my mom broke her wrist and foot. she is depressed since shes been bedridden since january. i took over at one point but couldn't handle it anymore and feel bad because of it. i have mental issues and my other 8 brothers and sisters should be there for them, but they have alot of kids of their own and family. they do help but not enough. i just am venting here as i cannot stand to see them suffer so much.

I certainly understand how you feel. It can be very depressing watching your parents suffer, decline. Also overwhelming when they are not able to care for themselves. My brothers made it clear all along they would do nothing. The one in fact told me many times " I don't go there"!, he doesn't go there, but he DID go there about a year after my mom passed and tried to talk my dad into putting the house and property into his name....Funny how he never lifted one finger but wants everything to himself though. The other one just doesn't speak to me at all. May pass me on the street and doesn't even look my way or acknowledge that he knows me. Funny, he treats me like that, but he is the one who has verbally, and visciously assulted me on numerous occasions! I have done nothing to either one of my brothers. The other one called me up out of the blue a couple years ago and was being all sarcastic and hateful. I think he must have got embarrased or one of his friends said something to him, because he has friends he hands out with right down the street from my dad's house. I was outside mowing all along the fence lines on this particular day. No sooner than I get home I get this nasty call with someone being all hateful saying stuff like "well, what are you having to go there a lot"? and "Well, I don't know if you don't tell me" blah, blah blah...."been going there a lot for years", and it wouldn't have made any difference had I told him, he made it clear "he doesn't go there"! He then continued to tell me "If you need some help you can call me, BUT you know I am really busy, and I don't know how I can get all the stuff done I have to do" AND GET THIS ONE....." You can call me if you need something BUT, you WON'T REACH ME ANYWAYS".....Now that is what I call a real sincere offer to help.....hahaha....I haven't called or spoke to him since, heck, I wouldn't reach him anyways, right?

[Fizzyo]

Some help! grrrr!

[vital]

Originally Posted by meandboss

Having a really hard time today, feeling so alone, and extremely angry at the fact that I have never had any help from my siblings (or anyone else) during the last 15 years of caring for parent(s) and their property. I am getting old, and it is a lot of work. I never get help or a break. Is 7 days a week for me, and to top it off I have a sick, disabled husband at home too. Not angry at my Dad (Mom has passed), angry at my siblings and others for never being there. Looks like no one cares, because you don't leave someone you care about with all the dirty work. Not only do I never get a break, it has ruined us financially and some things you never get back like time with my grand children and fun memories. We have zilch pretty much anymore. People wonder why I seem as if I am in a bad mood.....Wow.....Now I refuse to speak to my brother's, and others have hurt me something terrible. Is like we don't even exist over here, only remembered when the work needs done....Thanks for listening to my venting....

Hi meandboss,

I was just angry too, for about 15 minutes. It's down to about 10% of the peak now. It's kind of like stubbing my toe these days. Pretty unpleasant, but only for a while. Knowing that it won't last is a huge help. It actually leaves a residual of physical energy when it's over.

- vital

[meandboss]

That's a good way to put it....Sort of like stubbing your toe.....Most of the time I try not to think about it, or them, but sometimes it is hard considering I am dealing with this daily. I don't need their stinking help, and will take care of my Dad. Just really hard on me taking care of all of that property and everything by myself. I am an old lady doing work that most young men do, on top of caring for my sick parent. Then get to take care of everything at home too with a sick husband. I am just overwhelmed.....