[pugs1986]

I've had anxiety and depression most of my life, but I've been going through a rough bout of it for the past 2 months. For the most part, my friends have been supportive and patient but lately I feel like they are getting frustrated with me. There are certain places and things I'm not comfortable doing right now and I've had to say no to a few things that they've asked of me. I try and make as much effort as possible to stay in touch and even meet for a quick lunch, etc. as that's really all I'm comfortable with right now. Recently, one of my friends sort've chewed me out for "pushing her away" and said if she doesn't see any growth or change in me, she won't be checking in as much. My closest friend seems to be a little upset with me because she asked me to do something that requires a 4 week commitment, and I told her honestly that it wasn't a good idea for me right now. I've always hated when people were mad/disappointed in me and I find myself fearing that I will lose everyone over this. All I want is support and someone to understand, but sometimes it seems like I'm inconveniencing everyone... I'm taking steps that I need to get better and that includes learning how to say no sometimes. Does anyone have any advice on how I can stop blaming myself for how they are reacting to my anxiety/depression? What can I do to show them that I'm trying as hard as I can to get better?

[waterknob1234]

I think part of the problem lies in that people who have not experienced depression don't understand how the disease affects those of us who are afflicted with it. People really don't understand that it is a disease. They will just think you are in a bad/sad mood and that you should just "snap out of it." Do try to do things that will help you. If you are on medication take it. If you are in therapy make the most of it. Don't feel pressured to make commitments you can't take on. It is not up to you to prove anything to your friends. True friends will come around and be supportive. All you can do is your best. Don't beat yourself up.

[gayleggg]

This is a hard one. I, also, have lost friends because I can't go and the things others do without anxiety. Unfortunately, it depends a lot on the friends and if they can be satisfied with low key activities. I finally figured out that if they couldn't be satisfied with quiet dinners, etc then I would just have to let them go. If they didn't care about my issues then they weren't the friends for me. I wound up with a couple of really close friends that understood and we keep in contact and get together and just enjoy each other's company.

It's a matter of finding the ones that are willing to work with you for a good relationship. They will be fewer people but they will be true friends.

Best wishes, Gayle
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[pugs1986]

Thank you for your responses. My friends are pretty low key and have been supportive for the most part, but I think they are getting frustrated when I can't make certain commitments. For example, I had to tell one of my friends on Friday that I couldn't commit to something that was 4 weeks long right now and I haven't heard from her since. I wish they understood that it has nothing to do with them or our friendship. I've got to focus my energy on getting better and goals for my future. I just hope they continue to be a part of my life during this rough patch. I need all the support I can get and if they have their own opinions about depression and anxiety then they need to let that go for the sake of being there for me.

[Crazy Hitch]

I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with issues of anxiety and depression pugs.

Hang in there - I found these resources here on PsychCentral that may be of interest to you:

The 10 Best-Ever Anxiety Management Techniques Workbook | Psych Central

7 Ways to Manage Clinical Depression | World of Psychology

Take care.