[scarlett14]

HI, just took the Sanity Test - YIKES! I knew my scores for depression, poor coping skills, etc. would be high. I have just really been struggling with depression. I don't want to off myself and have no plans to do anything but have struggled with some suicide ideation and then have to talk to myself about all the reason I don't want to go that route. My psychiatrist has been concentrating on getting me off the Mirapex (studies show it causes an increase in impulsivity for people like me that have huge impulsivity issues, as well as causes cognitive inflexibility, and other very negative stuff). I'm now on Neurontin for the RLS (in hopes of replacing Mirapex AND helping with mood swings) but there has been no improvement in lessening the depression. I feel like my life is just passing me by. I'm so tired, listless and unmotivated daily. I am sooooo LONELY bc people just dont' get it or understand that depression/mental illness is a DISEASE and IS like cancer in that sometimes a cancer tx will work and the person's happy and in remission and then two years later - boom, the cancer is back. and that's just like depression. you can get on a good med regime and then a year or so later, boom, the meds stop working as effectively, etc. and if we go into the hospital or "psych" ward, well we're just weak and blah, blah blah. and the stigma even if people don't say anything. I don't even want to tell people that I may need to go back to the crisis stabilization unit but if I had diabetes or CHF and holding fluid and was hospitalized, well that's thought of completely different - like oh, poor so and so where if I go back to the crisis stabilization /intervention unit, it's like "oh my God, she could be psycho" or "why can't she get her life together?". Soooo frustrating. Sorry post is so long. it's just nice to communicate with people who get it! so Thank you!

[wa(o)rrior]

Hi Scarlett, Welcome to the forum!

What you have described is entirely true. People can't understand depression unless they suffer from it. we people who go thru it know how debilitating it can be.

[trashking]

welcome! sorry people don't understand depression is real. i know how that goes, people would always say things like "just be happy" and stuff about god sometimes, and that didn't really help at all, as it's not like you are CHOOSING to feel that way. I hope this site will benefit you in any way, as I've found it can be very helpful.

[Born2Fly71]

scarlett14, There is a lot of support here! So many people willing to help and listen. We know what kind of struggle you face, so feel free to let it out! Welcome to the forum!

[avlady]

welcome and i understand because ive been depressed my whole life.