[comstible]

Hi guys,

Recently I've been having bouts of depression that seem to be linked to my girlfriend. I've made a thread before in which I explained the fact that I seem to get deeply depressed for very short periods of time (ranging from a couple of hours to maybe 2-3 days tops) and that I didn't know why I had these moments.

Since then I've been keeping a "feelings diary" in which I write down when I get depressed like this and what I did beforehand. I've started to notice that I feel depressed quite often after seeing my girlfriend.

My girlfriend and I have only been together for 2 months. Prior to that we were in a kind of friends with benefits relationship which in the start made me really depressed because I was in love with her and she wasn't in love with me.

During that time I was actually diagnosed with depression and I got even more depressed about anything that dealt with her. I believe that what may be causing my depressive bouts now is some sort of unconscious trigger of my emotions that is linked to that time when I was really depressed.

My question to you is: is this at all possible or could it be something else? If it is, how do I deal with it? Should I break up with her or face my "depression trigger" and stick it out?

Thanks in advance

Edit: I really do like my girlfriend. We have a good time together usually and when I'm with her I only sometimes feel slightly "bummed out" but not really depressed. It's only after I'm done seeing her.

[RenouncedTroglodyte]

Hello!

To answer your question, I do think that what happened during your "friends with benefits" time with her is what's triggering you now. Sometimes you link something in the past with what associates with it in the present. My depression is triggered by the fact that I was mistreated by people as a child, and now when I feel that this has happened or when I am afraid that it will, I get depressed. And I think you should face your trigger, because you do like your girlfriend, and you enjoy your time with her, so don't let your depression ruin your relationship with her, okay? Deal or no deal?

[comstible]

Originally Posted by RenouncedTroglodyte

Hello!

To answer your question, I do think that what happened during your "friends with benefits" time with her is what's triggering you now. Sometimes you link something in the past with what associates with it in the present. My depression is triggered by the fact that I was mistreated by people as a child, and now when I feel that this has happened or when I am afraid that it will, I get depressed. And I think you should face your trigger, because you do like your girlfriend, and you enjoy your time with her, so don't let your depression ruin your relationship with her, okay? Deal or no deal?

I don't plan on giving up. But what you are saying is that I might associate feelings of the past with her and that is what causes these depressed feelings? I just hope it goes away with time because it's quite frustrating. Thank you for answering!

[RenouncedTroglodyte]

Originally Posted by comstible

I don't plan on giving up. But what you are saying is that I might associate feelings of the past with her and that is what causes these depressed feelings? I just hope it goes away with time because it's quite frustrating. Thank you for answering!

You're very welcome, my friend And yes, that is basically what I meant, because the mind gets programmed into something to its core until what is happening to it now seems natural. But, everything has an origin, and I think your past with your girlfriend is the origin of the depression. I'm not saying that she is directly the reason and that you should fault her for that, but you know your situation better than I do!

And hang in there! I know that things like this are incredibly frustrating, but you'll get better in time once you REALLY realize the essence of the time you spend/spent with her.

[quietincrowd]

Maybe it would help if you journaled what you are thinking of after you see your girlfirend. Maybe it is fear of a relationship, maybe you are missing her. There can be lots of emotions during a relationship and understanding how you feel after seeing her and what you are thinking of when you are feeling depressed can help with the understanding.
Good Luck!