looking for some insights

so my birthday was a little while ago. and i just wanted to say something about it and see what others thought. just check out the story below and let me know your comments. thanks.

so this year was a special one for me, in terms of my birthday. this year it was the big three-zero! I was out of town on that day and it happened to fall on a Wednesday. I didn’t do much on that day, but my aunt and uncle did grill steaks for me, and we played some cards! I got my usual three phone calls and a couple texts. (no emails though) and I did get some cards in the mail.

I wasn’t expecting too much on my bday itself because it was on a Wednesday. but you see, on that Saturday, my family was going to be together at my parents’ lake-house. that included my younger sister & her boyfriend, my older sister & her husband and my 5-month-old niece, and both of my parents. I thought maybe they would do something, considering we were going to be together and it was only three days after my bday! and sadly to say, nobody said anything or did anything!!

it was suppose to be a special bday, a milestone so-to-speak - a once in a lifetime thing! and they couldn’t do anything to help make it special for me?!?! and I’m not the type of person to say anything, so I didn’t. but they know me and my situation, which isn’t a good one, and outside of blood relatives, I only have three friends (all of whom live three hours away from me). but it just really bothered me. (not to mention making me feel more depressed)

and here’s the kicker. it will be my dad’s birthday this weekend. and my mom is already talking about what to do for him. (a week before and she’s already talking about what to make him) cuz once again, the same people will be together at my parents’ lake-house (maybe not me, not sure yet). the thing that makes me so mad about the whole thing is last year, my dad turned 58. an odd number, which happens almost every year. and they went out and got him a DQ ice-cream cake - one with a special design on it!

he turns 58 and they get him a DQ ice-cream cake! I turn 30 and no one does anything!!! I mean, is it understandable that I would be upset?! does this make sense to anyone cuz I just don’t get it!!

so I’m thinking about whether to go up on his birthday this weekend or the day after. cuz if they end up doing the same thing this year that they did last year, I wouldn’t want to be around cuz I’d be so pissed! ya know?!

so am I over reacting to what happened?? I mean, shouldn’t family members do things to make birthdays special for one another?? especially important and unique ones! but what’s done is done - can’t go back and undo things. so I’m not going to lose any sleep over it. I just wanted to hear what some others had to say about it.

so sorry must be worse than hard for you, I don't have answers, I don't know them or you but I feel very sad for your disappointment.

so I was just informed that my family is doing steaks for my dad on Saturday, along with a DQ ice cream cake!!! he's turning 59.

and like I said above, I turned 30 last month and they didn't do anything. and we were all together for a day too, just like it will be on Saturday.

is this messed up or what?!

I too feel bad for your disappointment. It does sound a little messed up,but like you said it is over. I would probably mention it in a non judgmental way and let them know how it has made you feel and then try to move on. Maybe it was just because your birthday fell in the middle of the week, I don't know. I wish you the best.

Dear Friend

I know how it feels to be left-out. What we may perceive important may not be important for others. People can't explain why they like someone else more than they like you. maybe your dad had been more affectionate and nice person which according to your family makes him special. Expectation leads to disappointments. Please attend your Father's birthday party and wish him. make yourself a more likable person by being nice to everyone.

What I do is throw my own party like thing like get a cake for myself.
It is wonderful you had people send you things, be with you and that your aunt and uncle grill for you. I see that you appreciate that.
Is your dad type to say it is his birthday coming up and giving hints? I notice people who do that get what they want.
It really help me to get my own cake. I have seen people throw their own parties.
I know you want to be loved and shown by others by surprise but sometimes, it just better to show others your milestone. Like "hey! It's my 30th and this is important to me."

Although it is over, you can still throw yourself the 30th party.

Better to find a way to enjoy your 30th than focus on your dad. Let his day be his day and you find a way to make your 30th better.

- vital

Good advice from eggplantlife if you can be brave enough to throw your own party, the guests will be happy they're invited and special to you which will help you feel happier.