[PaulGauguin]

My son just got a new job (he goes through them quickly) and it seems that soon after he starts he begins to complain. He gets agitated either talking about how others don't do their work or complaining about feeling bad and having to call off. He gets very moody and angry surrounding jobs. This is a pattern that always ends with him quitting or in the past, getting fired.

I suspect his lack of confidence at this point makes him self-destruct. In other words I think he finds a rationale to quit before he is fired.

The good news is that I think I've convinced him to talk to a counselor. But I am worried that another job loss will set him further back. I don't know that I have a question but would like to hear back from anyone who has experienced something similar. I'm just a dad trying to help.

Thank you.

[wa(o)rrior]

Hi

Am glad for your son to have such a supporting father. What he is going thru is his inability to manage stress in his job. his mind can't cope up with the pressure. so it starts to slowly build a set of reasons to convince himself that he is not fit for the job. it also wounds his pride if someone has to terminate him so he would rather quit on his own as it relives him of emotional pain.

the problem in today's world is everybody expects you to work hard and be smart irrespective of stress that it takes. so kindly explain to your son to take it slowly. explain his health is more important. make him take less stressful job if he can't handle the pressure.

[PaulGauguin]

Originally Posted by wa(o)rrior

Hi

Am glad for your son to have such a supporting father. What he is going thru is his inability to manage stress in his job. his mind can't cope up with the pressure. so it starts to slowly build a set of reasons to convince himself that he is not fit for the job. it also wounds his pride if someone has to terminate him so he would rather quit on his own as it relives him of emotional pain.

the problem in today's world is everybody expects you to work hard and be smart irrespective of stress that it takes. so kindly explain to your son to take it slowly. explain his health is more important. make him take less stressful job if he can't handle the pressure.

Thanks so much for your thoughtful reply wa(o)rrior! The pressure you speak of is indeed self-induced. He also rails on and on about how others don't do their jobs and if they expect him to work they better "step it up." I think both are defense mechanisms against his nervousness and fear of failure. They are all excuses he can use to quit when he feels the pressure is too great. The trouble is that he also feels bad when he gets fired or leaves so he is never in a more contented place.

I feel like I am slowly putting some of these pieces together and kind folks like you have been very helpful here, so thank you again for the reply, you have no idea how much I appreciate it!

[vital]

Originally Posted by PaulGauguin

My son just got a new job (he goes through them quickly) and it seems that soon after he starts he begins to complain. He gets agitated either talking about how others don't do their work or complaining about feeling bad and having to call off. He gets very moody and angry surrounding jobs. This is a pattern that always ends with him quitting or in the past, getting fired.

I suspect his lack of confidence at this point makes him self-destruct. In other words I think he finds a rationale to quit before he is fired.

The good news is that I think I've convinced him to talk to a counselor. But I am worried that another job loss will set him further back. I don't know that I have a question but would like to hear back from anyone who has experienced something similar. I'm just a dad trying to help.

Thank you.

Hi Paul,

Many people don't know this, but that's often how depression works. The depressed person ends up agitated, irritable, stressed and constantly bothered by what other people are doing.

I know exactly how this works and what to do about it too. My suggestion is to look at and send this link to your son and ask him what he thinks:

http://egg.bu.edu/~youssef/SNAP_CLUB...0164151576.pdf

Your son may recognize that this is going on with him too. Understanding how this is happening in your own head may be very helpful for your son.

- vital

[PaulGauguin]

Originally Posted by vital

Hi Paul,

Many people don't know this, but that's often how depression works. The depressed person ends up agitated, irritable, stressed and constantly bothered by what other people are doing.

I know exactly how this works and what to do about it too. My suggestion is to look at and send this link to your son and ask him what he thinks:

Your son may recognize that this is going on with him too. Understanding how this is happening in your own head may be very helpful for your son.

- vital

Thanks very much Vital. I responded to this a few hours ago but don't see it on the thread. I'll try to recall what I wrote. I did read your snap directions previously but hadn't seen your pdf. In many ways it describes my son accurately. We do hear him say "nobody respects me or I don't get enough respect." The part about people taking themselves out of their own decision making process hits home also - it seems to me almost like autopilot as you say. We see the results of that in behavior that seems to be the same ol same ol, play video games, hang out with friends, repeat. New things to do are never realized. Thank you for taking the time to respond, I appreciate it more than you know. With each post is seems I get a little more insight.