[SomethingWitty1]

I can't really cover everything that's happened in the last two years in great detail but it has been crazy to say the least. In a BAD way.

Because of the situation deteriorating at home with my family, I had to move into supported living about a year ago and eventually it went badly there too. We would constantly argue at home and sometimes physical fights broke out, initiated by different people in the family. My parents phoned the police on me several times, even for minor incidents such as breaking something out of sheer frustration, and I was detained a lot. It was humiliating. My parent's charged me and I went to court on the day of my exam results which was horrific.

At supported living, the staff would lie to me and made threats to make me homeless which they never went through with. The manager told me that killing myself was an option and gave me a method to do it. They also laughed at me when I was upset in the communal area. Throughout this, my parents didn't believe that anything was wrong when I complained to them. I ended up getting angry and made an official complaint but the manager denied saying these things. At some point it got so bad that I had to leave but there was nowhere for me to go.

I was told that I was being moved to a psych ward and that if I didn't go willingly I'd be sectioned. I knew that resisting it was pointless as I had no choice but on some level I was relieved to leave, it was so bad. I had no reason to be in there apart from accommodation, and I'm not just saying that; the consultant there said she would've discharged me if I had somewhere to stay but I didn't. My family hadn't accepted me back (although they lived down the road) and my mum was pushing for a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder, which I don't actually have. People were in there for drug induced psychosis and schizophrenia, basically things I DEFINITELY did not have.

Despite this, the whole experience was just more bizarre than anything; it just felt as if I was in some ironic movie. I spent a month in there, but was allowed leave every day to study in the library (did I mention I was studying for A levels throughout all this?!).

Now I'm in another supported living unit in the area, and I feel like a mess. Fortunately, I am extremely motivated and I want to get my A levels no matter what because I know that uni is my escape from all this. But exam season is just starting and I feel very dizzy, weak and exhausted from stress. I sometimes I behave as if I'm drunk, even slurring my words because of the fatigue. I am just overwhelmed by everything and I feel that whatever I do, it's all going to go to ***** at some point.

[wa(o)rrior]

Hi Friend

After reading your post felt very sorry for you. you have gone thru a rough patch not many would have survived. the most horrific thing is you were not supported by your family.

your symptoms of dizzy, weak and exhaustion is what they call 'Lethargy'. simply put you are completely drained of energy. I know you are not getting proper guidance in dealing with depression. go for a walk and connect with the nature. see the trees, flowers and enjoy the breeze. learn to let go. relax yourself. learn to meditate.

Visit this forum and give your hugs to so many desperate souls who are even more in distress.

[Fuzzybear]

[Rohag]

Wow.

Originally Posted by SomethingWitty1

Fortunately, I am extremely motivated and I want to get my A levels no matter what because I know that uni is my escape from all this.

Whatever is going on has not yet destroyed your motivation. Nevertheless, you need to find a way to get restorative sleep and rest. Are the people where you are now able to help you with that one issue at least?

Please keep posting when study and energy permit.