[jakers59]

Life really just is a huge frustration for me. Everybody gives me false hope and broken promises. It seems as if when people say, "you can accomplish whatever you put your mind to, you can achieve your dreams," seems extremely over exaggerated and even a bit of a lie. Right now, I just don't even want to try anymore, it's like why even try to get what you truly want? Why try to start a successful business, get a good job, ask out the attractive girl? When 99.9% of the time, someone is going to come along and just be naturally better, smarter, more talented, better looking than you? I mean yeah, it can happen, but the chances of it happening are so terribly small, that the odds are pretty much against you? I feel like I just don't measure up to others and that I really don't have a chance. I'm 19 years old, I work a part time job where I just sit around all day, I have no friends, connections, never had a girlfriend, kissed a girl, been on a date, etc. And I really don't want to go to college because it will basically be just like high school, all the prep/jock athletic, good looking kids will be having sex with the beautiful women, partying, having the time of their lives while I sit in loneliness. I don't even know where to start to get a social life, I have nowhere to go, no one to talk to, or have any social skills at all. I physically feel sick to my stomach and extreme anxiety pretty much all the time, I overeat, so I'm overweight, which makes me feel bad physically, my sleep schedule is all messed up, I watch porn and masturbate to deal with the boredom, and physical and emotional distress, I have obsessive anxious thoughts that spin around in my head all day long, driving me insane, and I'm being pressured to go to college by my parents but I don't want to because I'm unattractive, socially awkward, uninteresting, unfunny, boring, and im not very creative or smart either. Everywhere I go I see people my age dating, holding hands, kissing, having fun with one another and it makes me sick and jealous and sad inside. I feel unloved by women, and just people in general. My parents try to help me, but they don't know what to do, my dad says if I'm socially awkward then, "fake it till you make it", which has never worked for me, if it helped, I would have already done it, and even if I did do it, people would sooner or later find out that I'm lonely, depressed, and insecure. It's so bad that I can't even talk to people on social media or create an account because I'm so lonely and insecure and shut off from the world. I see people on social media and they seem to have it all, they're in relationships, they socialize so easily and always know what to say, and they just seem to have a better life than me. My parents also tell me that if I'm confident, women will like me. Well, I guess it seems to be true for men that are attractive, and not so much for unattractive men. You can't really get a women that you like to like you back unless she's physically attracted to you too, so the confidence thing is kind of a thing that is only applicable to some, not all. I've seen like three therapists and none of them have helped. I'm Seeing a therapist that does cbt therapy but it's next to impossible to do, because there are so many distressing thoughts in my head about all kinds of things that I can't really challenge or look at them in a different way because some of them actually are true, and some of them aren't really negative, but they spin around and get stuck in my head and I obsess about which makes them really bad. I feel overwhelmed by all the stuff I need to change, my unhealthy eating habits, anxiety, ocd, social anxiety, etc. And I feel that if I don't change them all at once and just do one thing, then in the meantime, my issues that I'm not working on will get worse and that I'll end up giving in to the negative thoughts again. I've also been on 7 different medications, none of which have done much. I also tried mindfulness, but I just quit because I obsess about the future and can't be comfortable in the present moment, there's too many thoughts in my mind and the anxiety is too strong for me to watch and observe it, I just don't know what else to do, it all seems so meaningless and hopeless. Please someone help.

[vital]

Originally Posted by jakers59

Everybody gives me false hope and broken promises. It seems as if when people say, "you can accomplish whatever you put your mind to, you can achieve your dreams," seems extremely over exaggerated and even a bit of a lie.

Yeah, that's kind of a lie. What is true, though, is that succeeding at your "dreams" pales in comparison with just enjoying being alive, and if you can enjoy being alive, everything else tends to work out as well.

Originally Posted by jakers59

...I've seen like three therapists and none of them have helped. I'm Seeing a therapist that does cbt therapy but it's next to impossible to do, because there are so many distressing thoughts in my head about all kinds of things that I can't really challenge or look at them in a different way because some of them actually are true, and some of them aren't really negative, but they spin around and get stuck in my head and I obsess about which makes them really bad. I feel overwhelmed by all the stuff I need to change, my unhealthy eating habits, anxiety, ocd, social anxiety, etc. And I feel that if I don't change them all at once and just do one thing, then in the meantime, my issues that I'm not working on will get worse and that I'll end up giving in to the negative thoughts again. I've also been on 7 different medications, none of which have done much. I also tried mindfulness, but I just quit because I obsess about the future and can't be comfortable in the present moment, there's too many thoughts in my mind and the anxiety is too strong for me to watch and observe it, I just don't know what else to do, it all seems so meaningless and hopeless. Please someone help.

I've got just the thing for you to try. Read these notes and see if they explain what's going on in your head. If so, there is a very easy thing to try. It's going to seem kind of silly, but try it anyway. It really works and it's a great way to get started on a healthy upward path:

http://egg.bu.edu/~youssef/SNAP_CLUB...0164151576.pdf

Here's more stuff too

http://forums.psychcentral.com/4262681-post105.html

- vital

[jakers59]

Originally Posted by vital

Yeah, that's kind of a lie. What is true, though, is that succeeding at your "dreams" pales in comparison with just enjoying being alive, and if you can enjoy being alive, everything else tends to work out as well.


I've got just the thing for you to try. Read these notes and see if they explain what's going on in your head. If so, there is a very easy thing to try. It's going to seem kind of silly, but try it anyway. It really works and it's a great way to get started on a healthy upward path:

http://egg.bu.edu/~youssef/SNAP_CLUB...0164151576.pdf

Here's more stuff too

http://forums.psychcentral.com/4262681-post105.html

- vital

I don't really get it, how does snapping when I'm doing something help my anxiety/depression? I'm not really seeing the connection, I don't really understand how this whole thing works, does it help anxiety as well?

[vital]

Originally Posted by jakers59

I don't really get it, how does snapping when I'm doing something help my anxiety/depression? I'm not really seeing the connection, I don't really understand how this whole thing works, does it help anxiety as well?

The idea is that depression produces lots of symptoms (as described in those notes), but it is all produced by a single habitual unconscious process. The process is withdrawing participation from your own internal decision making process. It is hard to talk or reason your way out of this because the transition to the depressive state is unconscious. However, snapping your fingers when you decide tiny things that you make up TRAINS your subconscious into participating and enjoying the little decisions. I know that this sounds like a superficial trick, but it really isn't. It's worked for a lot of people and sometimes it works dramatically and rapidly too... see for instance

http://forums.psychcentral.com/depre...epression.html

- vital

[Fuzzybear]