When will it get better?

I know 2 months isn't a long time, but when you have two kids to take care of and a husband in chronic pain, it's an eternity.

I started taking Lexapro about 2 months ago, and started therapy. But it's just getting worse. I already increased my dosage nearly three weeks ago, it should be having an effect now, right?

Last night (well, yesterday morning, and then again very early this morning) my husband and I were talking/arguing about communication and the things that bother us. It's been a lot of tears, and a lot that I just didn't want to say to him. I wasn't ready to say it, but he got it out of me anyway.

I didn't want to say it because I feel that it's not fair that he's in all this pain, and then I should tell him that I don't like something about him?? That's seriously &ucked if you ask me.

On top of all that he's been through this year, his beloved bird of 12 years passed away this weekend. It's been complete devistation, and I am completely sympathetic, I also loved him, but I know they had an amazing relationship. So, when he pressed me for talking, I really didn't feel it was the right time. Not to mention, I'm the type that has to write it out, and think about my words, otherwise things come across wrong.

I'm just tired of feeling depressed, and hopeless, and like everything I do I fail at.

I'm just talking in circles, even here. I have a ton of work to get done in the house, my father is coming here to see me this weekend for the first time in 5 years. I'd like the house to not look like hell. And yet I can't bring myself to get off my *** and get moving. I once again lack the motivation. a month ago, the house looked great, I was cleaning and scrubbing and putting things away. but now, ugh, where do I start, where does it all go?! And how on Earth did I managed to get all that done with a 5 and 1 yr old under foot?!

Here comes the baby, she's wanting some help.

Somebody please tell me it'll get better, I can't live like this. This isn't living. This is dying, slowly.

maybe lexapro isn't the right med for you. you should talk to your doc and let them know you are feeling worse even after the bump up in medication. i went through something similar with paxil instead of changing the meds they just kept bumping the dose and i eventualy became suicidal because the med was wrong for me. please keep track of your symptoms..feelings of depression, anxiety, fear, fatigue, strange dreams, etc... report them all to your doctor immediately. alot of your problems could be that the meds are not right for you. i am now on effexor and feeling much better and it is a safer drug also. i hope things work out for you. and im sorry you are having such a tough time. i've been there and its hard to cope. try not to feel guilty or like a failure. depression and anxiety are things we sometimes cant control so dont blame yourself for every little thing. sorry to hear about your pet and i wish you and your family the best of luck. keep your head up and try to think positive. things will get better.

recluse1

((((((((((((((((ibujari)))))))))))))))))))))

sending love and care to you.......try to give yourself a break too

love jinnyannxoxoxoxoxo

(((IBUJARI)))).
I am very sorry you are feeling this way at this time. I have to agree that maybe the meds are not working for you at this time. Perhaps if you call the Dr officce and let them know the meds are not working they can get the meds changed or adjusted. I hope things get better for you soon (((IBUJARI))). soidhonia

I hope it gets better. As others say, it can take a lot of tinkering with meds for some of us.

Thank you all. I'm actually skipping my p-doc appt right now, I really wanted to talk to her, but my husband and I have "made up" so to speak. We're moving on, and we were cuddling in bed, something we haven't done in a long while. I thought it was more important. Besides, I can talk to her next week.

Anyway, I've been tracking my moods, and well, I really haven't seen that 'get well' patten in a while. I just wish I could see all my entries on one chart, instead of just the last month.

I have an appointment with the psychiatrist in about 3 weeks. If I can wait that long, I will before adjusting the medication again. I'm not all that comfortable with the general practice doc adjusting meds and trying different things. I'd prefer someone trained to do just that. But I'm sure you guys understand that.

What's really annoying me is that I'm soooooooo tired. I'm tired all the time. I just got up about an hour ago, I'm still drinking my coffee and I could very easily lay down and be o-u-t. And not just for a quick nap either. I could be asleep for 3 or 4 hours. The other day I went in my sons room with both kids and went in and out of sleep for about 3 hours before they decided they were ready for lunch. I can't do that!!!! Everytime one of them wanted to show me something I'd open my eyes, and look, and comment, but then I was right back out. That's not fair to my kids at all. They need me to be active and awake. With out drinking a pot of coffee.