How do I help a friend with depression?

I have online friends who are depressed. How do I better help them? I try to offer hope, but they still feel hopeless. What can I do to help them and show I care?

listen, listen, listen. be available and really concentrate on what pain they are feeling. i'm proud of you for thinking of this. xoxoxo pat

just offer them your love in turn they may get a glimmer of it and apply it to themseves xx

unexpected signs of care

send them a card (ecard) or just a note to tell them ur thinkin of them and that ur there
send them a hug

ty for wanting to help
i wish my best friend irl went a lil out of her way to understand me

ur a good even great friend and yoshi is rad

As Pat wrote -- listen. Also, respond with affirming messages that acknowledge their pain and feelings as being legitimate -- I can understand why you would feel that way. I bet that situation made you feel really badly. Etc.

You are a wondeful friend for wanting to help. Great question to ask too!

Everyone needs and wants to feel validated about their feelings. It doesn't mean we have to understand what they are feeling, just accept how they feel and like the others said, listen! Lending an ear, a hug, a virtual hand to hold goes a long way in helping someone feel validated and knowing that their feelings matter. Being there for them through their darkest times, and then rejoicing with them in their quest for healing for every small step that is taken will go a long way!

(((((((((((((((((((((((Greenleaves)))))))))))))))))))))))

Hugsssssss
J

Thanks Fayerody

I will listen more, maybe reflect back what I hear them saying for them to know I have listened to them. I will not say things like "just try to cheer up" because I've been depressed before and it isn't something you can just turn on and off.

Thanks Jefftele

I tell them I care. A friend told me caring is an expression of love. I also understand if they seem distant.

Thanks Bronee

I think you have a very good idea there. I read somewhere else that unexpected signs of care help.

Thanks Wants2Fly

Sometimes when my friend tells me how live isn't worth living I tell her that it's the depression talking. Is that a good thing to say? I don't want to invalidate her feelings. Should I say instead that I agree that life feels like it isn't worth living sometimes. I usually counter that with, but depression doesn't last forever and you *will* feel better again. But then the person usually doesn't believe me.

Thanks sabau

I read somewhere that it's not good to say you understand when you don't, so I never say I understand when I don't. For example, I've had depression before, but it was the atypical variety. I was still able to feel moments of joy now and again when something good happened. My friend is experiencing a long severe depression without the ability to feel joy. I told her I didn't understand what that felt like and then gave her some virtual hugs.

Thanks for all your advice everyone. I'm also going to research this on google too, search for ways to help a friend with depression.

My best friend sends me cards unexpectly... even on-line cards.... it makes me feel good.... sort of loved and the feeling sticks thru some of the depression... I think the worse I've had is when she withdrawals.... (we've been friends for 28 some years) - but I don't ever fault her - my depressions are can be pretty draining.... for both of us...

you are so wonderful to ask that question.....

All good advice...Just would add call them if possible - you mention online - so I guess email often - every day if possible.

I agree with the others......

(((((((((((((( Greenleaves ))))))))))))))))

Express to them that they are in no way a burden on you. Show them through conversation that you truly care about them and are talking to them because you like their company and what they have to say.

To me that's the worst part of depression... it seems like no one is interested in your point of view because they are so scared that if they listen to it, they will fall into the state as well.

Empathy is the root of all beauty.