[MooseintheReeds]

Things have not been going well for me. My thyroid levels have been in the normal range for about two months now. I tried the Zyprexa medication that my doctor prescribed and gained ten pounds in two weeks despite not changing my diet at all. I stopped taking the Zyprexa but I am not at the heaviest I have ever been in my life, I am officially obese and I am completely distraught about it since I am one of the health nuts of the family.

I feel like not only has my mind betrayed me but so has my body. I'm so depressed these days about my weight I don't dare step out of my apartment and I have no energy to use my in-home gym. My acne now encompasses not only my face and back but now my neck, chest, shoulders, and even parts of my arms and thighs.

I feel disgusted with myself and disgusted with my complexion, weight, and demeanor. I don't look at myself in the mirror anymore and thinking about my appearance makes me sick and nauseous. I would give anything to be someone else right now.

I have failed all week to return phone calls for potential jobs. I managed to set up a phone interview for Friday but overslept and missed it. I'm embarrassed by my failures as I have no real reason not to have called these people back. My job recruiter is blowing up my phone and emailing me, concerned for why I haven't answered her calls or returned messages.

I either missed a dose or took a dose of my Lexapro late and within a day or three I woke up to one of the worst cases of suicidal thoughts I've had in a while. I woke up and started crying, wishing so hard I was dead feeling this huge burden on my self that I could not make go away. I opted to sleep the whole day instead which has messed up my daily schedule.

Is it possible for a missed or late dose of anti-depressant to hurl someone back into suicidal thoughts? Could this be a soft sign that I really do have bipolar disorder (I'm still not convinced it's not just atypical depression)?

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by MooseintheReeds

I feel like not only has my mind betrayed me but so has my body.

I cannot answer your questions, but I certainly can identify with these sentiments.

You may need to get the thyroid issues under complete control before having any good chance of dealing with the depression or bipolar.

[francisR]

hi Moose

Unfortunately, antidepressants and most psychiatric medicines slow down the metabolism resulting in increase in weight. The only thing you can do about this is to reduce carb intake to compensate. Perhaps this would allow you to take the Zyprexa.

Is there anything that the Dr. can give you for the acne? Why should you feel disgusted with yourself. After all you are a good caring person good at most things and not so good at a few just like the rest of us. What would you say to someone in your position? Would you not say to give them selves a break and be compassionate?

Hopefully next week. you will be able to do the job phone calls. Not taking meds can really lead to a return to depressive thoughts. But don't worry about the suicidal ones. They are just thoughts and we are in charge of what we do. Are you in therapy? That can give you really good skills to manage symptoms. Do try to keep your mind busy doing especially enjoyable things to take the focus away from feeling bad. I hope and pray you feel much better soon. God bless and best wishes from your friend Francis

[Fizzyo]