[KUFF]

hello all , just joined forum yesterday , hopefully have more success here as forums in u.k. many views but seldom replies , in the states people i feel tend to be more open about mental health. hope i'm right ?
been depressed for quite a few years now although medication has helped . sure this is quite common occurence but have others found themselves becoming isolated ; depression in itself leaves you feeling isolated but when friends and family turn there backs on you this only leaves an individual even more isolated which in turn can lead to stigmatizing oneself.
friends were good well educated people ; accountants, dentist etc it's as if my depression was almost contagious to them.
try to think positively about my situation and friends/ family reactions but it's quite difficult to achieve.
question ; anyone any ideas how to process this and move on successfully ?
thanks for viewing ; maybe even replying ?
kuff

[francisR]

hi KUFF

I'm glad that medication is helping a bit at least that is a plus. Are you in therapy? That can make a huge difference in giving skills to deal successfully with depression. CBT is quite good for that. as is acceptance and commitment therapy, which I use.

It is based on the idea that research has determined trying to get rid of symptoms only makes them worse so accepting them is better. It is saying to yourself that you are experiencing depression and an observing that feeling as it leaves your mind keeping doing that till the symptoms stop. which they always do and at the same time getting on with the business of the day. There is mindfulness, which is much like this and there are courses which are run for this and it is something you can get books on from the library. and stuff from the Internet.

Isolating in depression is indeed a problem for all of us. I was wondering whether you would consider going to the nearest branch of MIND where you will meet other service users and make new friends. Certainly keeping your mind busy doing especially enjoyable things will take the focus away from depression. I hope and pray you feel much better soon. Take care. God bless and best wishes from your friend Francis

Hi KUFF, I'm glad you found the Psych Central forums. This is a pretty active group. There are most people who post who are from the US than anywhere else, I think, but there are also lots of people from Canada and the UK as well as Ireland, Australia, NZ, different parts of Europe, and some from Asia and the rest of the Americas.

I'm sorry to read about the stigma you've experienced and about the loss of your friends. I have both mental health issues and medical problems and am disabled and haven't worked for some years. I've also experienced the loss of most of my old friends. I felt like it was more to lifestyle differences and my being poor now rather than stigma, but that may have played some part, too.

I still struggle with the hurt from the problems in family relationships. As far as loss of friendships go, I think time lessens that hurt some as does making new friends and finding new activities (not that that's always easy.)

I go to a weekly psychotherapy group which has the benefit of helping me see that other people struggle with similar problems resulting from their mental health issues. Sometimes I get annoyed with the group, but I can't deny that it helps me.

I hope that you'll get some helpful responses from people.

[vital]

Originally Posted by KUFF

hello all , just joined forum yesterday , hopefully have more success here as forums in u.k. many views but seldom replies , in the states people i feel tend to be more open about mental health. hope i'm right ?
been depressed for quite a few years now although medication has helped . sure this is quite common occurence but have others found themselves becoming isolated ; depression in itself leaves you feeling isolated but when friends and family turn there backs on you this only leaves an individual even more isolated which in turn can lead to stigmatizing oneself.
friends were good well educated people ; accountants, dentist etc it's as if my depression was almost contagious to them.
try to think positively about my situation and friends/ family reactions but it's quite difficult to achieve.
question ; anyone any ideas how to process this and move on successfully ?
thanks for viewing ; maybe even replying ?
kuff

Hi KUFF,

It sounds like your medication has helped you, but maybe you're still somewhat depressed(?) I also found that being depressed but still kind of functioning, it was still REALLY hard to be social. I found that the best thing to do all around was to find a way to really get out of the depression entirely.

I do have suggestions for that. Try this:

http://egg.bu.edu/~youssef/SNAP_CLUB...0164151576.pdf

and see if it works for you. Here is what I think is the overall general plan:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/4262681-post105.html

Keep in touch! - vital

[brainhi]

For me understanding why my brain was doing this to me was extremely helpful... My family, relatives, many friends "do not get it"... or cannot handle it. It feels bad but you do not have to continue to be down about it. Just because they are family or friends.. they do not magically know how to be with you. Through the years as I have gotten to feel better, I choose the things and people in my life that are good for me and vise versa.

I spent years being disappointed in my family... never felt they cared or worried..."don't families try to take care of one another" -not on my planet.... but I have learned to accept them. When I am with them I try to find activities that we both or all like and I do not expect more.

Also, when I am having a bout of depression - and they try to invite me to some gathering - they do not understand that I cannot go this time. "Oh come on, you will feel better when you get here".. and so on... they do not understand it's draining to "pretend" so they feel better

I also take medication but that in itself does not work. I know this sounds so cliché but it's all part of your journey. You cannot change anyone but you can start to understand yourself and find things you like to do with the type of people you choose to have in your life.

Hope you find out some good things here. You may like to listen to others as well.. and you could have great advice for them.

I hope you feel better sooner rather than later! Take care.

[Fuzzybear]

[KUFF]

hi francis, thanks for advice and support. (i'm just across irish sea in scotland ).have new consultant who seems very good. do cog/beh therapy although not as much as i should. been referred to psychologist for more intensive cog/beh therapy and have occupational therapist i can contact.not too familiar with acceptance therapy but will look into it.was in walking group and woodland conservation group but let attendance slip.my spiritual beliefs help.over worst. kuff.