[Aldan44]

Dont know why but lately no matter what Ive been having this thoughts in the back of my mind lets say Im on the bus and I think about an exam I had or will have then immediately I think

Possible trigger:

whats the point of worrying if Ill end up killing myself

and thats the problems it seems that unconsciously Ive made the decision but I want to go on to continue my life but it always returns to me either I had a good day or a bad day always and i cant shake it off and it makes me feels even worse that even when im trying to get over with all my issues that I am the one who brings me dow again
Has anyone been on a similar situation or have any advice?

[waterknob1234]

Hi Aldan. Welcome to pc. I and many other have had similar battles. And that is what it feels like, an internal battle with your own thoughts. Have you seen a psychiatrist or therapist? Don't hesitate to seek help to deal with this.

Many of us have had suicidal thoughts, but yet we struggle on because somewhere under all the trouble and suffering is a light at the end of the tunnel. Hang in there.

Originally Posted by Aldan44

Possible trigger:

whats the point of worrying if Ill end up killing myself

Hi,

Oh man, I can relate to that. The "what's the point" thoughts...

It scares me immensely to be thinking of things like that, because that is a dark place I don't really want to be in.

When I have those dark thoughts, I try to fight them back by doing something that I believe will bring joy either to me or people around me.

I'm not very good when it comes to giving advice, but do you have any interest, any hobby? Something you could do to distract yourself and get out of that dark place for a while?

For example, getting a piece of paper and drawing something, trying to make it look cool? Or singing a song, playing an instrument, writing a poem... or even cooking something, baking a cake? Or even trying to repair something that is broken in your house, a leaking tap, or a flaky wallpaper, or a broken door handle... Or plant something in a pot and watch it as it grows every day?

What harm could baking a cake do (apart from giving you indigestion if it turns out bad)?

I hope that you can find something you can comfort yourself with.

Best of luck to you!

[vital]

Originally Posted by Aldan44

Dont know why but lately no matter what Ive been having this thoughts in the back of my mind lets say Im on the bus and I think about an exam I had or will have then immediately I think

Possible trigger:

whats the point of worrying if Ill end up killing myself

and thats the problems it seems that unconsciously Ive made the decision but I want to go on to continue my life but it always returns to me either I had a good day or a bad day always and i cant shake it off and it makes me feels even worse that even when im trying to get over with all my issues that I am the one who brings me dow again
Has anyone been on a similar situation or have any advice?

Hi Aldan44,

I have advice about how to shake off those thoughts. See

http://egg.bu.edu/~youssef/SNAP_CLUB...0164151576.pdf

- vital

[Aldan44]

Yes Im seeing a therapist but havent talked about that with him yet, and currently I have no hobbies or anything that I enjoy doing at the moment I used to work out but Ive been sick four a couple of week so I cant until I heal,Also thanks for the pm vital Ive already been doing that didnt have the chance to thank you so Ill do it know
And about the proble itself today I just failed one of my subject at school just because the teacher was In a bad mood and I really dont feel like anythng when something like this should make it worse so Its kind of random times that it happens but eventually it happens

[vital]

Originally Posted by Aldan44

...Also thanks for the pm vital Ive already been doing that didnt have the chance to thank you so Ill do it know
And about the proble itself today I just failed one of my subject at school just because the teacher was In a bad mood and I really dont feel like anythng when something like this should make it worse so Its kind of random times that it happens but eventually it happens

Hi Aldan, You're welcome. It took me practicing for a while before I could actually stop thinking about something if I chose to stop thinking about it. When people start out, I tell them to not worry about that and just concentrate on making up and enjoying tiny, tiny, fun silly decisions like when to stand up and whether to go through the left or the right door (for double doors).

I can tell you that the moment you realize that you can actually stop thinking about something unpleasant is a wonderful moment. It feels like a spell is broken and you are finally free.

When you're doing the depressed rumination thing, it's super stressful, which makes your brain work much less effectively and it makes it very hard to concentrate, so, for instance, if you're in a course that has become a source of thoughts like that, it's really difficult to get over that. Fortunately, courses in school don't last that long and usually you can just take them over again.

- vital