i give up.

i give up on the silly notion that life will get better.

i give up trying to improve myself.

i give up trying to make myself funny/attractive/smart.

i give up being anything other than who i am - dull, ugly, stupid.

i give up trying to lose weight.

i give up trying to be pretty and feminine - i can't be these things.

i give up wanting things that i will never have, like love.

i give up hoping that my life will be anything other than me being on the receiving end of judgement and criticism.

i give up trying to improve my writing.

i give up writing.

i give up wanting to be tough because it's made clear over and over again that females can't be anything other than weak.

i give up trying to like being female. (this is not a transgender issue btw, it's a society one).

i'm not even useful as an object because i am so ugly.

i give up trying not to hate myself.

i'm giving up to these feelings, and i will let them consume me like flames until i burn up and become a pile of bones and dust.

[waterknob1234]

Don't give up on writing, especially not to us. We love you. I think you are a smart, wonderful, intelligent person who has had too much trouble to cope with.

I struggle with trying not to hate myself as well. I think some of that goes along with depression.

[vital]

Hi ShyPoetGirl,

Giving up can be a positive thing:

- vital

[MelancholicArtist]

Let it all out. I really hope things get better for you.

(((((((ShyPoetGirl))))))))

I hope you don't give up, things do get better. I know it's hard to see and believe, but I've experienced it. I know it is possible...

[Clara22]

(((((((( ShyPoetGirl )))))))

[spring2014]

((((((((((shypoetgirl))))))))),
Don't give up !!!!!! Think positive things will eventually get better. I been like that , too. when I feel like giving up I call someone to help me out with it. the person I call is my therapist .she is always there for me when I feel like giving up.










Diagnosis: Anxiety and depression
meds: Cymbalta 90mgs at night
Vistrail 2 25 mgs daily for anxiety prn
50 mgs at night for insomnia

thank you everyone for your support. i'm still not feeling good about myself, though i am trying. it's just hard because i feel like i have a million and one reasons to dislike myself. as many of us know, self-hate is all-consuming.

and as if to remind me of my natural inferiority

Possible trigger:

i got my period.

which reminds me of how i'd rather not live in this body (again, not trans, just hate being female). i think being born female was one of the worst things to happen to me.

so i'm hurting physically and struggling today.

than you all.

[Alone & confused]

Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl

i give up.

i give up on the silly notion that life will get better.

i give up trying to improve myself.

i give up trying to make myself funny/attractive/smart.

i give up being anything other than who i am - dull, ugly, stupid.

i give up trying to lose weight.

i give up trying to be pretty and feminine - i can't be these things.

i give up wanting things that i will never have, like love.

i give up hoping that my life will be anything other than me being on the receiving end of judgement and criticism.

i give up trying to improve my writing.

i give up writing.

i give up wanting to be tough because it's made clear over and over again that females can't be anything other than weak.

i give up trying to like being female. (this is not a transgender issue btw, it's a society one).

i'm not even useful as an object because i am so ugly.

i give up trying not to hate myself.

i'm giving up to these feelings, and i will let them consume me like flames until i burn up and become a pile of bones and dust.

Ditto! I'm there too! I wish I had something more positive to say, but I don't. I feel the same way!

[bugbear83]

Not sure if I can change your situation but I just wanna let you know I read this and I'm thinking of you.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

You sound exhausted - can you give your self a break and some rest? Perhaps then you can get back to the hard task of Giving Up Disliking Yourself.

Originally Posted by ManOfConstantSorrow

You sound exhausted - can you give your self a break and some rest? Perhaps then you can get back to the hard task of Giving Up Disliking Yourself.

i don't really know how to rest. i can't turn off my feelings unfortunately.

[Fuzzybear]

I think you're smart and wonderful We love you here

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I think you're smart and wonderful We love you here

thank you fuzzy!! you are the kindest bear of all.

[amity]

No body is a total zero,you too must have many qualities which others do not possess and which are valuable.For example you have expressed your emotions very eloquently.You only need to look at yourself from a fresh perspective.

JEETE RAHO: Get Rid of That # Inferiority Complex

[ScientiaOmnisEst]

There isn't much I can say except that I know the feeling, and exactly how much it hurts.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl

i don't really know how to rest. i can't turn off my feelings unfortunately.

Feelings is is just feelings, SPG, they have no power. Perhaps your T can help you look into this?

Originally Posted by ManOfConstantSorrow

Feelings is is just feelings, SPG, they have no power. Perhaps your T can help you look into this?

i don't currently have a t, unfortunately. i need to look into finding one, but i have 0 motivation.

[annoyedgrunt84]

It sounds like you have a lot on your mind. I hate it when I don't know what to say to help but here are some hugs.

[Clara22]

Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl

i don't currently have a t, unfortunately. i need to look into finding one, but i have 0 motivation.

Yeah, it is hard to get a T from a motivation point of view. It happened to me, as well. On top of that, your environment may be pushing you down. If you could, would you leave home for a while?

[Clara22]

When you have time, take a look to this https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Au_pair
You do not need to know a foreign language in Italy or Finland to be an au pair. In Finland people speak English as a second language and one can manage. I always insist on leaving a more or less toxic environment particularly to young people because a period overseas opens our mind and we get to know ourselves better. For some of these programs you need very little money to start

[Clara22]

I know it sounds radical but sometimes getting a job overseas is easier than getting a job and leaving home in our own countries

thank you clara. i live with my parents right now. there's no way i could leave currently. i don't have the money or the means. also, there's the issue of having to travel alone, which i can't do because i've never traveled and have social anxiety.

thank you.

[Clara22]

Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl

thank you clara. i live with my parents right now. there's no way i could leave currently. i don't have the money or the means. also, there's the issue of having to travel alone, which i can't do because i've never traveled and have social anxiety.

thank you.

yeah, if you have social anxiety it could be hard, because traveling overseas can be stressful