[markdl]

Hello Everyone,

It's been about year or so since I've been here. While my depression never really went away, I was managing it and things were ok. This forum seemed to help put me in that position, so I'm back to try and pull myself back together. I guess I never should have left and perhaps I wouldn't find myself back in this deep hole, and been able to better cope with the things that have put me back here.
Fall and winter has always been a tough time for me, but this time has hit me especially hard. 2 of my family members and a friend have passed away, and I am not myself at work. I'm a teacher and it has been so tough trying to do my job, each day is a challenge to get up and go to work. Today I failed that challenge and called in this morning. It's been about the 5th time I've taken off this year. I usually don't take 5 days off in a couple of school years. I'm afraid that I'll not be able to climb out of the hole this year and will not be able to continue as a teacher. This scares me to death. I'm still 7 or 8 years away from retirement. I am seeking encouragement, advice, prayers and maybe even just someone else who suffers as I do to hear me. Heck, I'll even take a few million bucks if someone wants to help a brother out. But seriously, thanks for taking the time to read this and I hope we all can get better and be happy.

Hi markdl,

Ever thought of buying a light box (can buy from Amazon)? Are you doing any cardio exercise?

I spent some time in Great Lakes, so I know how little light you get this time of year (not to mention the cold temps).

Glad you're back.

[markdl]

I'm thinking about buying one now after your suggestion and I'm not doing any cardio, but discussed that this morning with my wife. Thanks Kindness.

[*Laurie*]

Hi markdl, Are you taking an antidepressant?

[markdl]

Hi Laura. Yes I am. Paroxetine and Lorazapam.

[Thunder Bow]

Do not feel guilty about taking time off for yourself. You will be a better teacher if you do. You are doing good by taking care of yourself, as you should.

[markdl]

Thanks Thunder Bow. That means a lot. I hope my principal feels that way too. Just got home from my Uncle's funeral. Very tough saying goodbye and a very long day. It was an honor to be a pall bearer and to lay him in his final resting place. Such a good man and I'll miss him.
Great to see and talk to family that I had not seen in a while despite the sad occasion. Several are teachers, and I got to commiserate with them a bit about the job. It seems like it's tough all over. The depression just makes it even tougher. I ordered a light box as Kindness suggested and might even force myself to do some cardio. Going to force myself to grade some papers and see if I can get myself ready to show up to work Monday or maybe Tuesday. Might spend Monday hanging with family who will still be in town and taking a bit more time off for myself.

[Thunder Bow]

Always care for Yourself....

[markdl]

Taking Monday off. I'll go Tuesday, and then we have Wednesday off. Go Thursday, and then no kids on Friday. I can ease back in there.

[markdl]

Well, took my day off and not at all ready to go in tomorrow, but I must. Grades must be put in, and I feel like if I don't get back on this horse, I might not ever get back on. Wish me luck, say a prayer, cross your fingers and toes and do whatever you can for me please!

[Thunder Bow]

Time to ride your horse:



You will do well

[markdl]

Thanks Thunder Bow. I'm riding it, but not sure how well..
Got my light box today and gave it a try. Hope it helps. Made it to work Tuesday and survived the day. Day off for Veterans Day, but didn't really get to enjoy it. Going in tomorrow and hoping I do better and feel better. No students Friday. Trying to take it one day at a time, and praying that I can feel better and do my job. Right now, if I keep feeling this miserable, I'm not sure if I'll make it to the end of the school year.

[vital]

Originally Posted by markdl

Thanks Thunder Bow. I'm riding it, but not sure how well..
Got my light box today and gave it a try. Hope it helps. Made it to work Tuesday and survived the day. Day off for Veterans Day, but didn't really get to enjoy it. Going in tomorrow and hoping I do better and feel better. No students Friday. Trying to take it one day at a time, and praying that I can feel better and do my job. Right now, if I keep feeling this miserable, I'm not sure if I'll make it to the end of the school year.

hi markdl,

Welcome back. My best stuff is here

http://egg.bu.edu/~youssef/SNAP_CLUB/BA.pdf

and in this thread http://forums.psychcentral.com/4262681-post105.html

I've been meaning to try a light box just out of curiosity, but I've never done that. What kind did you get?

- vital