[smartiesparty]

I am deeply depressed (moderate to severe) and my boyfriend doesn't really know. I put a lot of energy into acting happy, mad happy even when being with him but I'm afraid to tell him. I know being with an ill person is hard but I'm scared I will pull him down with me and that he will go away find someone 'normal'. Sometimes I have no feelings at all...for nothing and for him included but I really do love him, that I know.
But do you guys think it's a reason for people to leave you ?

[vital]

Originally Posted by smartiesparty

I am deeply depressed (moderate to severe) and my boyfriend doesn't really know. I put a lot of energy into acting happy, mad happy even when being with him but I'm afraid to tell him. I know being with an ill person is hard but I'm scared I will pull him down with me and that he will go away find someone 'normal'. Sometimes I have no feelings at all...for nothing and for him included but I really do love him, that I know.
But do you guys think it's a reason for people to leave you ?

I'd give your boyfriend a chance and tell him. He probably knows that something is wrong already anyway.

- vital

[gayleggg]

I think there are those that can handle dealing with mental health and others that can't. I don't think you will know which kind he is until you are honest with him. Hopefully he will love you enough to help you work through it.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[emwell]

For some people Yes depression is a reason to leave someone. But so is having smelly feet.

I had a girl friend leave me because she found out I had a history of depression. I am now happily married to someone who is not that shallow and has gone through hell and back with me and depression. I would have left me.

It all depends on the people and the relationship.

[smartiesparty]

Originally Posted by emwell

For some people Yes depression is a reason to leave someone. But so is having smelly feet.

I had a girl friend leave me because she found out I had a history of depression. I am now happily married to someone who is not that shallow and has gone through hell and back with me and depression. I would have left me.

It all depends on the people and the relationship.

Thanks for your answer and I'm very happy you found someone like that ! People who support their partner's illness seem to be becoming rare.

[lavendersage]

Originally Posted by smartiesparty

Thanks for your answer and I'm very happy you found someone like that ! People who support their partner's illness seem to be becoming rare.

It's a very "me" culture and, sadly, has been, for quite some time. I think the 60's may have been the last time it was about "us"...not "every man for himself".

Didn't they call the 70's "the "me" generation?

[Fuzzybear]

[StartingFreshNow]

Like everyone has said, yes, some people will leave because of it because they aren't equipped to handle it. However, the RIGHT person won't leave because of it, they will want to stay by your side and help you.

My advice is to have lots of information available to your boyfriend. Some people know nothing about mental illness/depression while others are very educated. If he is the type that doesn't know much about it, it may scare him - the more factual information you can provide him, the more comfortable he will be with it. Also, make sure he knows you're not expecting HIM to fix you. Let him know what you will do to help yourself - go see a doctor, take meds, get a therapist, etc. Think about what role you want him to play in your depression and be honest with him about it (whether you just want his support or whether you want him to be more active in your therapy and things like that, etc).

My ex-husband was very patient and understanding, he learned a lot and was there for me. My current boyfriend doesn't really understand anything about depression but he's still very supportive. He just needs me to be more direct about things (like if I want to talk and just have him listen, I have to tell him that's what I want, etc) whereas my ex-husband instinctually seemed to know more of what I needed/wanted.

Good luck - for me, I personally think it's very relieving to open up to someone close to you about what's going on.