[PahaSapa]

i always tell myself to not let myself feel depressed and ****** when it's already to late. i sit outside or in the garage and i can hear my family inside and they sound like there a hundred miles away. i know all i gotta do is get up and go in there and be with them and i'll be fine or i can pretend to be fine and that's better then being so dark but i can't and i don't know why. i feel like to get up i gotta lift a million pounds or my feet can barely move and the urge to just sit and stare at the wall and zone out is so strong. i go out to the store or just try to walk off the feeling and i hate everyone i see. i hate every single person and ever single that goes past me and i'm just begging for someone to say something to me so i can tell them to %#@&#! off or someone to push me so i can push back. everything looks dirty and everyone seems like there stupid or %#@&#! with me. i start fake fights in my head with parents of things i wish i said and did but can't do because there dead now. i know that i'm angry and i have "anger problems" i been paying a therapist for the past four years to tell me that but i don't know what to do about it. everyone always says find something to channel your anger, go running or but it don't work. i used to have a punching bag but if hitting something is how i get my anger out then i'm my father and that makes even madder. so i'm writing this and i hope that for today it will go away soon

[Direction]

I have walk stores too...just to get out and it gets my irrated for some reason...

I glad you posted and hope you find PC helpful...

[snowflake_48888]

(((((((((sincity))))))))))
I hope it is helping you today to write this out.....many people do find comfort in putting their thoughts on paper.
Hopeing you feel better....
Snow

[bipolar_bear]

I hope writing helped. Journaling can be such a releasing thing to do. Please take care.

BB

i am hoping that you will feel better soon. writing can be a very good release for us........love, pat

The rage I feel sometimes scares me, I have to work it off or I'll explode.. No med I take makes It go away. Rage and anger brings so much stress in my life because I blame myself for the way I am.. Failure in everyway..

But I will say this, since Onyx showed me this site I'm working thru the process so to speak. I know I'm new but when I see and read the way people feel it helps so much. I can relate and can contribute to the they feel cause I'm there too.
Today has been a rough day on PC it seems like.. Hope all is well with everyone.

There's always tommorow......