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#1
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Currently feeling rather depressed realizing the sorry state of my life right now. Bit more angry at myself than anything, as I am currently in community college, and am on the verge of being suspended from attending next term. Doing decently in most of my classes, but there's one class (a pass or no pass), that is required for graduation and is basically a college orientation class, and the last few assignments I kind of forgot about and blew off, and there was a survey about the class that is required for you to complete to pass the class for some reason, is now locked online, so I probably won't be able to take it. My other classes have faltered a bit too, but not to the point of no return. I seem to do well and be motivated the first half of the term, but tend to skip and become non-caring the 2nd half until the last week or so.
Not sure what I'm gonna do if I can't attend classes next term. I still live at home, my parents will probably be furious with me, don't think they'll kick me out, but I failed to pass 1st term last year (granted I dropped and skipped out that time due to a very rough breakup), and they hinted at it half a year ago when I was struggling and failing to find a job in the small town I live in (finally have one now but it doesn't give enough hours). I basically have little to no social life. I have 1 real friend anymore, who I only hang out with maybe 2-3 times per month since he's fairly busy. The rest of my high school "friends" I have infrequent contact with and have drifted away. All of my friends have moved on with their lives, with almost all of them having moved out into their own places and having completed more schooling than myself, with a better more consistent job, better social life etc. I essentially am stuck in home, often in my room, playing way too many video games and watching YouTube than I should, which is in part due to the fact that I have no friends to be doing anything else. Frankly I think that I have a lot of self destructive tendencies, and subconsciously enjoy pushing myself to the edge and catching myself at the last second, which I hate, but I seem to keep doing stupid stuff anyways. Time will pass and I'll tell myself that I'll change, that things will be different, but I always seem to fail. I think that part of me subconsciously has to or wants to fail all the time. I'd quite honestly love to move out somewhere and be on my own and just kind of try to improve and discover myself, because I feel like I'm trapped and going in circles in my current environment. No idea how that would happen though, because I don't have all THAT much money saved up, and certainly can't afford a 1 bedroom apartment. Any advice on how to motivate yourself more and stay motivated with your life? Also, do you think changing my environment would be a benefit, and how would you suggest going about making that change? Any help is appreciated. Thanks |
#2
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Moving out would certainly remove the parental safety net and allow for development of independence and maturity. I would suggest careful budgetary planning, increased working hours (or a new job) and starting by looking at apartment/house shares as the first and cheapest step out of the family home.
You also need to balance your College education, if you are looking to continue it in the future. The rewards gained from better education and qualifications should give enough motivation in their own right. Dave.
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You and I are yesterday's answers, The earth of the past come to flesh, Eroded by Time's rivers, To the shapes we now possess. The Sage. Emerson, Lake and Palmer. |
#3
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I see EnglishDave's point about independence, although I suggest seeing this family home environment as your way to save a lot of money for now. Tell yourself, I'm choosing to stay to save up $xxxx and will move out when I'm financially ready.
About motivating yourself, I really struggle with that. I have been reading about it and some people say to write your personal mission statement. Write a bunch of uplifting words that describe your life so far and choose a few that apply to all situations but fit you ("I am a caring adventurous student of life"). another thing to help is make a list of all the things you want to have, be, and do, and then choose 10 and prioritize them and then you have some good goals. |
#4
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Also have you tried emailing or better yet visiting your professor of that orientation class to ask them to unlock that survey?
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