[Fuzzybear]

I saw a doctor recently, but they have no idea how I really feel. They are perceptive... But I have so many ... "too many defences". These were needed to "survive" multiple abuses and traumas Who can I turn to? Who can I trust

[Cinnamon_Stick]

I am sorry you are feeing so badly. You can get help and support from people on here. Hugs to you if you want them!

[Caretaker Leo]

I have learned to turn to my higher power to ask for guidance. I have stopped living in the past and just live in the present now.

[Fuzzybear]

I do want to live in the Present, ONLY in the Present Moment.
NOT NOT NOT in the past.

How do you do that?

Originally Posted by Caretaker Leo

I have learned to turn to my higher power to ask for guidance. I have stopped living in the past and just live in the present now.

[guiltier65]

As somebody said, you can get help and support here. I have found this group to be very helpful and understanding.

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I saw a doctor recently, but they have no idea how I really feel. They are perceptive... But I have so many ... "too many defences". These were needed to "survive" multiple abuses and traumas Who can I turn to? Who can I trust

You first. I think that's the key. Maybe the key to everything

[Caretaker Leo]

It has taken me a long time to reach living in the present moment - but I repeat the mantra "be where my hands are" when my mind starts straying to the past or the future. I have also learned to be open with others, honest with myself and others, and willing to change (myself - not other people, places or things). And I accept that not every moment will be wonderful, but every moment has a meaning in guiding me on life's journey.

[EnglishDave]

I believe one has to make peace with - or at least accept - the issues of the past before one can live only in the present. Without resolution, through a higher Power or mental fortitude, there are doubts and conflicts. I am unable to gain this resolution myself.

You know my trust issues regarding Psychologists, yet I still have faith in Medical Doctors (despite another GP abandoning myself and the Practice with no warning this past week). I believe, for mental health, you can only fully trust yourself, you are right to put up defences imo. Frankly, it is better to share some things in the safety of anonymity of PC than in Session. At least here you are talking to a non-judgemental audience of your peers, people with similar issues and experiences.

Dave.

[Clara22]

Hi Fuzzy,
I do not know much about diverting my mind from the past to the present. Usually, I focus on the future and that gives me tons of anxiety. So, when I am aware I am focusing on the future I switch to the present moment like an exercise. I tell myself I need to focus on something I am doing ( for example cooking, or preparing something) and do it well, the best I can. And it works often. But it is like exercising, it improves with practice

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I have so many ... "too many defences". These were needed to "survive" multiple abuses and traumas

Then the defences weren't "too many"; they weren't too many for you in your situation.

When a person's "trustworthiness detector" has been damaged, knowing whom to trust is genuinely difficult. Beyond that, even if you can gain a good idea whom to trust, doing the actual trusting is another mountain to climb.

[little turtle]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I saw a doctor recently, but they have no idea how I really feel. They are perceptive... But I have so many ... "too many defences". These were needed to "survive" multiple abuses and traumas Who can I turn to? Who can I trust

fuzzy---do you trust you...what are you telling yourself...

[nervous puppy]

Sometimes those defenses, that fortress one needs to build around their vulnerable place to hold themselves safe, is very necessary. That fortress is not a bad thing. The hard part is learning to take out part of a wall, brick by brick, so you can put a window or a door in there. Therapy (and PC) are helping me to slowly, cautiously, put those windows and doors in my fortress.
Trusting a T (if possible), or trusting people here on PC to help and support you.

One day, perhaps my fortress will not be a fortress, but a house/home instead.

Fuzzy, do you have a spiritual director? You will know it when you click. I after 56 years finally clicked with a doctor and that has made all the difference to me. It is not about validation, it is about integrity, treating me with respect, listening, understanding. And i leave feeling like it is okay, they really are empathetic, caring. They are there for me and helping me move forward in the process, at my time and capability. That is when you know you have the right person. Catholic Priests often do counseling for free, and you can go talk to them one on one. Ministers are too busy making money. They are not as into charity as the RC church is. I hope you find someone. I wish you well. (((hugs))) Blessings.

[gayleggg]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I do want to live in the Present, ONLY in the Present Moment.

NOT NOT NOT in the past.


How do you do that?

It takes practice but it can be learned. ️️️

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Humpty Dumpty]

Originally Posted by Fuzzybear

I saw a doctor recently, but they have no idea how I really feel. They are perceptive... But I have so many ... "too many defences"...... Who can I turn to? Who can I trust

I wish I knew what to tell you to do. Unfortunately I am in a similar boat just for different reasons. I too do not trust people. I live in the 2nd largest city in my state (not that much smaller than the capital) & I have been through so many doctors I have given up. I can't trust doctors because I have been burned by them in the past. I even have a hard time trusting my own wife. I do not wish this feeling on anyone and I am sorry you understand the feeling.
You are welcome to message me on here any time. I may not have the answers but I do understand. Sometimes having someone to talk to that understands and has been there can help.