[jlr58]

I am so upset and worried about my 13 year old son. He's been having trouble in school this year (previously was an A-B student) and I've been in contact with the school, but nothing helps. He won't do homework. Friday I couldn't even get him to go to school. He started seeing a therapist 2 weeks ago, but it doesn't seem to be helping. He hasn't showered or brushed his teeth in a week. This is a kid who used to be so upset if a hair was out of place. I did a search and found this website and read the symptoms of teenage depression, and he has many of them. I suffer from anxiety and am under the care of a psychiatrist for medication monitoring. I left a message with him to call me tomorrow concerning my son. Although I know it's irrational, I feel like this is my fault. I worry about the life my son is going to have ahead of him. I can't stop crying. Does anyone have any experience with teenage depression?

[dexter]

jlr58 I'm sorry that your son is having trouble but it is great that you recognize that something serious may be going on rather than just chalking it up to a "phase" he is going through or something. If it turns out to be not that serious then no harm, no foul in making sure that is the case. If there is something more serious, as there does seem to be from your description, then it is the best of situations to find out what is wrong early on. I've learned that many of the people that I've met with depression or bipolar disorder were diagnosed later in life, but once diagnosed, realized that it was something they suffered from for much of their life. While it is never too late to get help, it is sad that sometimes it goes on for so long untended because of stigma or lack of information.

You should not feel at all guilty. I know it is natural to blame ourselves. But try to listen to the others here who will tell you the same, as Ozzie has already done, and hopefully you won't believe you are to blame for very long. The important thing is that you are getting him the help he needs. I think it is an excellent idea to get a "second opinion," the therapist he is currently seeing may just not be "clicking" with him. It also may take some time for him to open himself to the possibility of feeling better. That loss of hope is a part of depression.

Keep trying with him. Having someone supportive and understanding in his life gives him an excellent chance the the "life he has ahead of him" will be a positive and happy one. Good luck, and keep posting here for more information and opinions as well as support for yourself through this.

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--http://www.idexter.com

[jlr58]

Thank you for your posts. I am not at work today. I couldn't get my son to go to school again. I've spoken with his guidance counselor and told her things have gotten much worse. She is going to talk to his teachers so they are aware of what's going on. He's still in bed. I started crying while talking to the guidance counselor and felt like a fool. But all I do is keep crying. I am waiting for his therapist and my psychiatrist to get back to me today. I just feel so alone. I haven't told anyone in my family or any friends about any of this. I'm afraid they won't understand, and there is a stigma, I know that. I'm afraid of how hard his life is going to be. I am 46 and my problems with anxiety started 5 years ago. He's only 13. And I know things could be worse, but I can't help feeling, why did this have to happen to my child?

[dexter]

Please don't feel like a fool in anyway. A fool would be someone who knows something is wrong but lets fear of embarrasment keep them from posting here or contacting the counselors and other people in a position to help.

Crying is an expression of how much you care about your son and also some of the stress you yourself are under and is nothing at all to be ashamed of. Any counselors will recognize that, any that don't shouldn't be counselling.

When dealing with this, there is always the fear of being judged by others who may not understand. You are doing the right things in seeking help from professionals and support through this forum. It is possible that your family may surprise you and be supportive as well. There is lots of literature and information available to help them understand. But if you don't want to risk that right now, IMO that is OK because it doesn't seem to be hampering the process of getting the help your family needs. There may be some point in the future when the possibility of their support may be valuable but for right now you have us, and we are "guaranteed" to understand as we've all been there ourselves, and if you need you may also be able to find some local support groups in your area, maybe on the recommendation of one of your doctors, to give you some contact with others who understand if you feel that might be helpful.

You are doing the right things so be confident in that and you can rely on us to always be here to listen and understand.

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--http://www.idexter.com

[hamstergirl]

Crying is a good thing. It's a release mechanism for stress.

Try to take comfort in the fact that you and those around your son, realized there is a problem and are now taking action. Depression can go undiagnosed for years, even in a child, and the consequences, if left untreated, are devastating. The earlier the fire is detected, the faster and easier it is to put out.

There is a thing more crippling than cerebral palsy: the prison of your own mind.