[dontFindOutMe]

I don't know where to begin.This is my first post so please go easy on me.

I am actually grateful for some of the things in my life.Being born in a financially secure family and having no kinds of disability.But sometimes I get so depressed thinking about what I don't have.
A bit of background first: I am a 19 year old boy currently majoring in computer science. I have been an introvert since as long as I can remember.I have serious trouble opening up to people.Sharing my problems and feelings are really difficult for me.When my Mom was with me,there was atleast one person to whom I can unburden my heart.After her demise 3 years ago,I have been all alone.Nothing has been going well with me.It sucks when you don't have anyone to share your feelings to.I have no real friends:just some fake friends who make use of me to get some help and leave me as soon as their objective is complete.I have no talent whatsoever.Zero.Nil.Nada.Although my academic performance is really good,it's because I work so damn hard for it.I am not intelligent.I am dumb.I lack common sense.If someone other would put in so much effort like I do,they might even reach the moon.I am not attractive.Infact one could call me ugly.I am short.Add on top to that that I am balding.At the age of 19!I can't tell you how much horrible and painful is losing your hairs at the age of 19.It completely shatters your self-esteem.I have completely avoided going outside.I don't want other people to look at such an ugly guy.I don't even look at girls in order to not creep them out by my appearance.I don't look at TV or movies as they depress me even more.
It's not like that I am not trying.As I said earlier,I work really hard.I love programming and music.I usually code all day in hopes of becoming a good programmer.I used to really fat a while back.Through daily exercises,I have toned down to the level where people don't call me fat.But in my mind,I am still a fat boy..one who people used to call football. As I said earlier,I have absolutely no talent whatsoever.I can't sing,dance or act.But still I loved music so much,I taught myself to play guitar through online lessons and am at a point where my guitar sounds good. But still the feelings of loneliness gets to me.I wish I had someone.Someone to whom I can open up completely.Someone who would tell me I am not worthless.Sometimes I feel that whatever I am doing is totally futile.No matter how hard work I do,I am still gonna remain an unattractive ,short and bald guy.It depresses me so much.I just wanna quit on those moments.

[Mountainbard]

Welcome to the Psych Central community, dontFindOutMe. First and foremost, you are not worthless. You are a worthy, worthwhile, and unique human being. You have worked to reduce your weight successfully. You are as attractive as you feel, and any woman worth her salt will appreciate your intelligence and personality, and not be hung up on your outward appearance. And I have no doubt from your post that you are intelligent. You're also very good at beating yourself up. You work hard and you have a passion for programming and music. Someone special will come along for you.

[ComfortablyNumb5]

First off I'm sorry about your mom. I lost my mom when I was young.
Your whole post you've put yourself down numerous times so I'm guessing you have low self esteem and maybe a bit of anxiety. Are you on meds? Even if it's hard for you to open up, maybe you can work with a therapist and maybe even grief counseling for your loss.

I used to be a hair stylist and I've always recommend Nioxin for thinning hair. You can find it at a professional salon or maybe try Amazon. I would try that first before trying anything like rogaine. You also might want to look into the company Bosly (sp). I see commercials all the time for hair loss treatments but yours might not be advanced enough yet. Also see a doc and get your testosterone levels checked.

[Marla500]

Also have you had your thyroid checked? A low thyroid can cause hair thinning and also contribute to depression. But once you've ruled that kind of thing out, keep in mind a lot of women find men with bald heads sexy!! That is the absolute truth.