[passionfruit3]

I ended up in the er for a suicide attempt I stayed there for two days cause of what I took. My mom came to visit and I told her I'd been seeing things though I don't remember this conversation well.I ended up going to a hospital called Fremont I'd been there before At eighteen I got in trouble For repeatedly trying to Awol I almost accidentally killed someone by spilling a bottle of liquid haldol I drew a picture of me hanging myself and purged my guts out right before I went home I hated that hospital I was supposed to stay at the hospital thirty days. And get transfers to a crisis home but everyone lies to me I only stayed three lousy days got drugged repeatedly then kicked out.its just not fair

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Passionfruit, I am glad that you are okay. I am glad that you are able to talk with your mom about things. Life is difficult for a lot of people. It sounds like you wanted to stay in a crisis home for a while? Is that something your doctor can refer for you? I know there is a shortage of beds for people who are in crisis and many they have to turn away. I hope that you can get inhouse treatment if that is what you want. I hope that you realize all of us here at PC are concerned for our fellow members and greatly care for them. You are a person of value and worth. Please contact someone first before you think of doing anything. We care about you, know that.

[passionfruit3]

I know you all care and I appreciate the love and support I get here that being said it really is my fault I didn't get placed I was supposed to stay four more days at the mental hospital and go to a crisis house after I drew a disturbing picture but I chose to go home anyways I missed home I guess.I can't blame anyone but I'm no longer suicidal just depressed a little and I managed not to self harm last night so it's a positive step.I still have the option of going to the crisis house but it'll be difficult and possibly not necessary at all anymore

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[dexter]

Hi Passionfruit, if your feeling somewhat better but still not great is there maybe a day program you can get into? Help and groups during the day but you sleep at home at night so maybe you won't miss home and be torn about leaving the program.

Hope you are OK. Good luck to you.

[Humpty Dumpty]

I am sorry you found this out the hard way but hospitals could careless about your mental health. Even mental hospitals treat the symptoms and just want to throw enough drugs at you to get you to shut up.
Have you looked into group therapy at all? That may be more beneficial. I hope you find the help you need soon.

[passionfruit3]

I'm going to go to partial hospitalizations though I'm not sure what good it will do I've been before and it only lasted a short time and I was still not well afterwards I've considered going back to nami though I don't like taking the disability bus by myself to get there or having to ask for money as my mom is my payee

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[ChipperMonkey]

I think you need to take initiative in your own healing. Stop refusing treatment. Go to the nami meetings and stop making excuses as to why you don't want to go.

[Humpty Dumpty]

Originally Posted by passionfruit3

I'm going to go to partial hospitalizations though I'm not sure what good it will do I've been before and it only lasted a short time and I was still not well afterwards I've considered going back to nami though I don't like taking the disability bus by myself to get there or having to ask for money as my mom is my payee

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I understand the feeling of it not working and wanting to give up. These are not excuses that you're dealing with, but they are problems you will have to overcome in order to get better. I do think NAMI would do you some good. Maybe you could find others that suffer with some of the same things you do. Find out how they deal with it.